Damn songs

I have a fairly wide appreciation of music, but a fairly narrow band of bands and songs I listen to in my truck and when I program. These times to me are when I am most in tune with myself. Warren, Allmans, Dead/Jerry/Grismon, Widespread Panic, more Warren, DMB, Bela Fleck, Floyd, Moses Guest. make up 90% of the menu.

Some days different songs strike me. Today, my fancy Sirius beeped at me for "My Morning Jacket" who have some great songs and and some not so great (Austin City Limits was an interesting one for them) so I rustily moved from 17 to "The Loft", cause I was in that kind of mood. Soulful, slow, borderline depressing without being depressed kind of thing (this last clause was to be the core of this post). Song was decent, but not memorable. Then this British girl came on, as I was deciding whether I was going to switch back to Jam on or Howard, and it gave me pause. It was "Cure-esque" if there is such a thing. Her name is Kate Nash and the song was "Nicest Thing". It was about the most heartfelt thing I have heard in a long time. Things like that are why I love music. Usually a riff, or beat, or lyric will strike something in me which resonates. This was kind of opposite, it was like I was being pulled in to what resonated with her, instead of her pushing to me. I obviously can't really explain it. It isn't earth shattering new musicianship by any means and I am sure the lyrics have been done a million times before. Sounds much like Cure "Lovesong" I would say.

Song is basically "He's not that into you". Instead of being campy and pop relevant, it is a mixture of deep soulfelt sorrow and moderatly positive, forward-looking hope? I think I like most that she doesn't once say she loves him, but with swarovski clarity answers what love is to her, and if I were being honest and open, to me.

All I know is that you're so nice,
You're the nicest thing I've seen.
I wish that we could give it a go,
See if we could be something.

I wish I was your favourite girl,
I wish you thought I was the reason you are in the world.
I wish my smile was your favourite kind of smile,
I wish the way that I dressed was your favourite kind of style.

I wish you couldn't figure me out,
But you always wanna know what I was about.
I wish you'd hold my hand when I was upset,
I wish you'd never forget the look on my face when we first met.

I wish you had a favourite beauty spot that you loved secretly,
'Cos it was on a hidden bit that nobody else could see.
Basically, I wish that you loved me,
I wish that you needed me,
I wish that you knew when I said two sugars, actually I meant three.

I wish that without me your heart would break,
Yea, I wish that without me you'd be spending the rest of your nights awake.
I wish that without me you couldn't eat,
Yea, I wish I was the last thing on your mind before you went to sleep.

Look,
All i know is that you're the nicest thing I've ever seen
And I wish we could see if we could be something
Yea, I wish we could see if we could be something


So enough about the dumb song that amazon got 0.99 richer from, and the girl who obviously laid it all out there. It's all about me, here and now, as I blog to me myself and I.

Last time I felt like this, it was a similar kind of song, with Warren covering the U2 tune "One" acoustically. I really obsessed about that one for a while, but as a song, not the lyrics. It took me a week or two to read the lyrics and then I felt weird. I don't go to therapy and don't plan on it. I think I was born with the tools to figure shit out. Realizing some things can't be figured out is a sign of maturity I think. I do have to wonder though if these 2 songs say something about me on a subconscious level, if there is such a thing. Why such a strong, palpable draw? I do think underneath there is something to it obviously.

On the exceedingly rare occasion I have these kind of talks with actual real people, rather than just myself, I get the lecture about setting standards too high, or establishing unrealistic expectiations so as to have an impenetrable barrier. There may be some truth to it I guess. I was married to someone who was never the one, not for a day. I never once felt the way Kate Nash does with the close exception of a girl from college. Is it really wrong to hold out for what she feels? I don't think so. Life is short and I am quite happy with it as it is now. I won't close the door on the possibility of relationshipy things in the future, but I know damn well what it will be like. Thanks Kate. I'm a feeling a little "deep" today because of you which I am not sure how to take, but I have some validation that others have innards similar to mine.