Sorta green, Sorta not

2800 miles in 7 days to the Cabot Trail, Nova Scotia

2011-08-22T17:36:00.002-04:00

Just returned from the one of the most fantastic 7 day stretches of my life. The Tiger did everything I asked of her. The new PR3's were an absolute dream. First 2 days were through all day rain and they gave the confidence to drive as I wished. Standing water, painted lines, didn't seem to matter. I have pics of wear after 2,800 miles if anyone wants to see them, a little squared, but much less than I thought. The outside compound sticks like glue in the twisties.

Day 1- Bethlehem PA -> North Conway NH (209-87-7-91-112 mostly) 425mi 6am-7pm
Not a lot to speak of, first long distance trip, first bout with extended rain. Gear, tires and Tiger performed beautifully. Water proof gloves remained so for about 300 miles. Fortunately, rt 112 in NH made me forget anything except how much i wanted to lay into those corners hard, but discretion got the better of me and decided it was nice enough to alter return path to hit it. Stayed at Moat Mountain Brewery and BBQ. Hot chili, cold beer and an hour with the hair dryer in my gloves to dry them out made me feel like a new man. For the money ($75), perfect place to stay.

Day 2 North Conway NH USA -> Moncton New Brunswick CA (2-95-9-1-2) 425mi 7am-6pm
Due to continued inclement weather, climbing Mt Washington wasn't even a thought as rains continued and fog left visibility about 100 yds, which is not the best feeling in Moose country. Really hoping to see a moose this trip, just not real up close and personal. Opted out of planned rt 16 due to rain and reduced speeds, rt 2 was a great alternative however, fast, curvy enough to be interesting, but not too curvy enough to give pause due to the heavy rain. LOVE the PR3's. Original plan had St John as the end of day 2, but already wet, and 5 hr energy really works, so blasted on to to Moncton. I have to say, the Canadians know how to build a road, and the drivers there are fast. 130kph seemed to be the average to keep up with the quicker traffic. Not thrilled about sitting at 5.2 rpm for hours on end, but it was a piece of cake. So glad I fitted the Throttle rocker. Best mod on the bike and it only cost $10. Didn't burn a drop of oil.

Day 3 Moncton, NB -> Baddeck, Cape Bretton Island, NS (114-2-104-5) 325mi 10am*- 6pm
So that's what the sky looks like! Beautiful skies, beautiful country, no rain! Went over odometer readings and somehow I had miscalculated. This trip was going to be almost 3K, not 2K miles, minor error.... Also hadn't planned on extended time up around 5K, oil now has nearly 5K miles on it Headed to Atlantic Motorsports in Dieppe, NB a Triumph dealer which was the only one in hundreds of miles, and happened to be 20 mins from my hotel. Most expensive oil change of my life $177 canadian, great people though, and knocked it down to $150 :005: Would recommend, price aside. Put me right in the shop and had me back on my way in an hour without an appointment. Headed down 114 to Hopewell cape since it was low tide time to get my lowtide picture at flowerpot rocks. Really neat place. All the inlets are just carved out channels of mud. Reminds me of the pictures of when they did hydro-mining for Gold in California. Glad I came here. After pics, back in the saddle to Nova Scotia. Straight roads, fast, boring biking, beautiful scenery, reminds me pacific northwest a bit. Who needs HDTV, ride a Tiger. Made it to Cabot Trail Motorcycle retreat. Small B&B 6km off 105. Converted turn of the century farmhouse into small B&B. Patrick and Angela are super nice, they have a garage for the bike, and at $50 a night, can't beat it by a long shot. Whole house, yard etc is decorated with motorcycle parts basically. Tiki torches made out of harley mufflers, bird feeders from MX fenders, 1953BSA in the foyer.

Day 4 CABOT TRAIL
Seriously, if you can, this is a dynamite ride. No where near as technical riding as I thought it would be, but breathtaking views, very little traffic and motorcycles everywhere. I went counterclockwise. Lunch in Neils Harbor at the Chowder House. Feels like Scotland/Ireland. I preferred the western side of the island as it is much more mountain feeling, though the biggest climb is called Smokey on the eastern side. Took off around 8:30 and returned "home" 7pm. Rode at one point with a pack of 14 GS1200's, the couldn't keep a speed, or take a corner, so the Tiger done run away. :158: Mind on absolute overload from the sights. Dinner at Lynwood Innn in Baddeck. Lobster and Mussels and Keith's on the deck with entertainment. End of a perfect day, on a perfect trip, on my last day being 41.

Day 5 Cape Bretton Island, NS, CA -> Waterville, ME USA (105-104-2-114-915-1-1 coastal-95) 665 miles 8amP-11:55pmE
Happy birthday to me. Work emailed they had problems, wondered If I could cut trip a day short and come back monday instead of Tuesday...pricks. Put it out of my mind, put the positive smile on my face and headed out 8am Atlantic time for the birthday ride of a lifetime. Made it to Hopewell Cape for my high tide pics about an hour ahead of high tide, but still ridiculous how much the water moves in this place. Met a couple from washington DC who were doing nearly the same trip, but added a jaunt in Labrador, and an extra week. He on a speed Triple with 30Kmi on it and her on some kind of custom honda/ducati hybrid 4 cylinder she built herself talking about 3 days of offroading in Labrador. Nice people, great stories. Isn't that always the case? They were talking up the Maine coast on Rt1 and how many places there were to stay. If I was going to make it back a day early, I didn't want to get stuck in saturday AM customs traffic, so decided to make it over the border in Calais, instead of sleeping in St John. 915 through Fundy National park is beautiful in the fog, if you like the alpine sort of thing. Can't believe I still haven't seen a damn moose. Those nice people said there are tons of places to stay so I can't wait to make it over the border and take off this riding gear and enjoy a cold one. Border crossing was a breeze. Hard ass crossing guard was pulling over everyone in my lane for extra treatment, I'm next, oh look at that, shift change. New guy could care less about me, except if the Harley behind me is with me and a quick scan of my passport. Now to find that hotel. Queue heavy fog rolling in, early darkness, music befitting desolation of boarded up towns, banjos, Moose signs that pop out of the ether with 50 yds visibility. Oh look, there's some light to help me on my way as the display changes from 5:45pmET to 49miles to empty..

46 miles later at a Mobil station in *nowhere, ME*, I am assured there is a hotel about 45 minutes up the road by some indigenous folk. Relief. Butt is sore, hands are sore, I can't see squat because of the fog and I have to crawl along. About 45 minutes later I reach a quaint little town, with 2 hotels. Unfortunately, there was some kind of town celebration going on, the one block that made up the town was closed and revelry abounded with a roasting porker at it's core. I'm starving, can't wait to have me so BBQ and get off this bike. Both hotels 100yds later blazed "No Vacancy". Back into the white of night. About 20 miles later, another small town, small hotel, no vacancy. Good news is a car pulls out in front of me full of teenagers. Typically, this would be considered a bad thing, but brakes and good tires are purchased for a reason. This however turned out to be the greatest blessing of the trip and they flicked on their high beams and started racing down rt 1 at 70 mph through the soup. Follow reckless teenagers at speed, or go it alone in nearly zero vis fog with the famed Tiger headlight in Moose Country. Pounded the throttle and tucked in and went along blindly for the ride. Hopefully my stopping power was greater than theirs if they hit something. if I lost their headlights, I felt a sense of impending doom. It was a game of leaving enough space to be safe, but close enough so bullwinkle didn't have to jump out in the gap. Butt really chafed, fog has turned more into fine rain droplets suspended in the dark than just regular old damp fog. 9:00 pm, 20 miles to Bar Harbor, huzzah! Road signs for hotels abound. Ellsworth, 3 miles. Finally, a comfort Inn. No vacancy. "How about any of these other hotels Maam?" "I'm sorry sir, last room was sold at 7pm, we all keep in contact. Maybe up the road in brewer?" Harrumpf. Back on the steed, fortunately far enough from the ocean that the fog has mostly broken, picked up a convoy, and high tailed it to brewer. Yup, 4 hotels, 4 no vacancies. More fuel. 10:30, can't hardly see straight. Each exit the same dance plays out. "Got any rooms?", "You've got to be kidding sir, it's high season". 11:50pm on the day of my birth, a fella in Waterville ME says, yup got 2, want it? Hell yeah...

Day 6 Waterville, ME -> White River Jct, VT (95-4/2-116-112-91) 250 miles
Beautiful day. Definitely sleep deprived, but rested nonetheless. 5 hr energy cures everything. Fantastic ride down 2 to Mt Washington. Calling for chance of afternoon storms, but hope to get in Mt Washington, which was the idea which started off this whole trip idea. Got there about noon, and the auto road is closed for a bike race. Should be back open at 1 or so if I want to wait. Damn straight. Relaxed in the field with a bunch of beemer folks from Quebec. Language was a barrier, but sharing the same passions, we got on just fine. 12:45, lady came over and kicked us out of our lot since it was reserved for the bikers who were returning and we needed to go to the other lot to wait for it to re-open. Bikes and cars started streaming out. Being the courteous feller I am, I let a bunch of people go in front of me. As I went to turn, the lady walked over to me and said "We're opening, would you like to be first?" Hells to the yeah. Cranked the Ipod to the Allman Brothers version of Stormy Monday in honor of the old lady's record setting wind and up-up-up we went. Lots of traffic coming down with the chase vehicles from the bike race winding down. Had to stop a few times as the tourist vans that were released first navigated the panic stricken downhillers that plain stopped in the road on the dirt section. All in all went quite smooth, though my hands seemed a bit pale once I de-gloved on the summit. Last item on the bucket list, *check* (sans Moose). Had the road to myself on the way down, and wound through rain that started once I reached the bottom down to 116. Got gas, got a donut and coffee, rain stopped. I then proceeded down rt 112 which I wish I had time to turn around and ride again, and again. Ran out of steam in White River Junction, VT. Wings, beer, bed.

Day 7 White River Jct, VT -> Bethlehem, PA (91-7-87-209) 340mi
Daylight broke to cloud cover, hot chick on the weather channel started chirping about strong thunderstorms rolling through New England. Radar map backed up her dreadful story with a collage of yellow, red and purple angled NE to SW moving at a clip. Oddly enough, I was traveling NE to SW, this could get ugly. Checked the oil, lubed the chain and gave up breakfast for lent and got the hell out of dodge. Turned out to be a great day, with a fairly extreme weather event on rt 87 that lasted about an hour. Fortunate to only be stuck in it for 5 minutes, the got off and hung out under the protection of a gas station roof as lightning pummeled the earth around me. Maybe cuddling a gas pump isn't such a bright idea... Got the rain gear on and waited for the lightning to subside a bit and the weather rallied in my favor about 30 minutes later as the front passed through for a gorgeous ride back through Delaware National Recreation Area and on to home. All hell broke loose in the black sky at about 5pm as the Tiger slumped on to her side stand in the comfort of my garage with less than 3 minutes to spare. My dog was as happy to see me, as I was with the memories of my great birthday adventure. An adventure which I will never forget until the marbles start to roll a little funny in my helmet holder. There's a good chance it becomes the story I tell over and over to the bewildered attendants each time I see them in my feeble state. Tomorrow, instead of work, I will write a long winded report of my expedition aboard my two wheeled pleasure rocket, as repayment for calling me back early from one of the greatest 7 day adventures of my lifetime, and unbeknownst to them, they will pay me to do so.

I left last monday with 9,500 miles on the ticker, now off to schedule my overdue 12K mile service. My butt hurts from sitting, my hand hurts from clutching, my cheeks hurt from smiling, my lips are chapped and my mind is numb from the beauty of the great northeast. If you asked me to leave to do it again tomorrow, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

https://picasaweb.google.com/102373805258475223635/CabotTrail2011?authkey=Gv1sRgCPHw8bzOwP3weQ&feat=email

Porter

2010-10-31T14:41:00.002-04:00

Used the same recipe as the Petite, but with Marris Otter instead of 2 row and Kent Goldings to 15. 1.054 FG,

11/23/10- Kegged 1.016FG

Lemon Wheat

2010-06-13T20:59:00.007-04:00

Knocked out the lemon Wheat for the summer this afternoon due to thunderstorms and good-ol desire. FG again ridiculously low. I guess it is the wheat?

5lbs 2 row pale
5 lbs wheat
1 oz Hallertau (used tettnang the last time, grabbed the wrong thing, go back to tettnang, more AA) 60
.5 oz Saaz Chech 20
.5 oz Saaz Chech 5
Zest of 1 lemon 5
1007 German Ale

3.25 Gals @ 162 for 60 mins
1.25 gals @212 for 15
Runoff
3 gals sparge @ 168

First runnings 1.040 hot, 1.052 room
Second 1.010 hot, 1.022 room
FG 1.044
Pitched @76

Kegerator out of CO2. Must check for a leak. No reason the 20# should have kicked on 5 kegs.

Didn't secondary this, after all, it's a wheat. Kegged 7/3/10 1.008. We'll see. Very light and refreshing, hint of lemon to the nose.

Petite Porter

2010-04-17T12:01:00.005-04:00

This is intended to be a lighter version of the potbelly porter. Suitable for the post lawn mowing or motorcycle rides of summer. Left everything the same, but backed down the specialty grains with the exception of the crystal and ditched the carapils.

1.3:1 liquor/grist ratio 4 gals @169 1 hr for 155. 1.75 gals boiling added and let sit 15 minutes. Got 4 gals runoff at 1.064 adjusted. Batch sparge with 3 gals @ 170 for 15.

10lbs British 2 row pale
5 oz Chocolate
4 oz Brown
3 oz Black Patent
.5 Crystal 60

60 1oz Challenger 7%
10 1 oz UK Kent Golding 5%
5 .5oz Fuggles 4.8
3 .5oz Fuggles 4.8

Pitched Wyeast 1028 @70

Totally forgot to take OG. Transferred to secondary 2/24/10 1.016

5/18/2010 Transferred to keg. FG of 1.017? Way high, not sure why. Warm and flat it's a winner. Pancake syrup kind of color, very smooth, very excited to get back from Canada and wack a few cold and carbonated. Maybe push the Kent Golding back to 30 minutes? It could use some more hops early and late for a more Americanized version, but it is very English ale'y, exactly like I like it.

Climbing

2010-01-23T11:00:00.003-05:00

I have been indoor climbing now since right after Thanksgiving at North Summit Climbing Gym in Wind Gap, PA. It has been nothing short of fantastic. Starting with the staff, they have been incredibly helpful and eager to share knowledge. The people who go are are just a really nice group of similar souled people that make it a pleasure without exception.

Initially it was tough. These keyboard hands with years of abuse were not up for the task and the first month was rife with forearm aches and slow moving fingers the next day. It took about a month for that cycle to subside. I learned the hard way that I need at least a 3 day break between visits or I was shot for a while. Gradually that shifted and the finger and forearm piece improved drastically and now it is about the core and flexibility.

Still have not done a lot of top rope stuff. Stamina isn't there for a lot of it, but bouldering is really fantastic. This week was the start of the bouldering league. I had some hesitation going in since it is team based, but decided to do it anyway and quite glad that I did. Curious what my thoughts will be if spring ever arrives, but for now, it was money well spent and a decision with no second guessing.

Irish Christmas Red Ale

2009-12-25T12:43:00.008-05:00

OK, so I'm not irish, but it is christmas, and what's more festive than red ale and green hops?

Found the grain bill and inspiration for the hops from a Smithwicks clone. Only 5 more months...

8lbs Marris Otter
.75 Crystal 60
.5 Carapils
.16 Roasted Barley

60 1oz Kent Goldings 5%
20 .5oz Fuggles 4.5%
5 .5oz Fuggles 4.5%

Preheated with 2 gals boiling
3 gals @ 167 for a 154 mash 1 hr 1.3:1 ratio
1.5 gals boiling mashout 15
3 gals @170 sparge

FG 1.045
Wyeast 1084 Irish Ale @68
Fermenting happily @64

1/3/10 - Moved to secondary 1.010. Not really red, we will have to see in a pint glass. Curious why fg is so high again. Perhaps the higher mash temps?

INTP

2009-11-04T18:38:00.002-05:00

I am working on a post here. For now, I am amassing resources and I have too many computers and browsers for that job.

Pretty much perfect.
http://www.intp.org/intprofile.html

This should be required reading material, should I ever happen upon a girlfriend:
http://homepage.mac.com/bahlberg/iblog//B1386252977/C707866389/E1956473041/index.html

http://www.personalitypage.com/INTP_rel.html

http://intp.tribe.net/

Potbelly Porter

2009-10-17T15:27:00.004-04:00

Great day of brewing. Not even any mini disasters and I will take that every time. Porter turned out fantastic, though way over gravity 1.058 (planned 1.052). 1.3:1 liquor/grist ratio 4 gals @169 1 hr for 155. 1.75 gals boiling added and let sit 15 minutes. Got 4 gals runoff at 1.064 adjusted. Batch sparge with 3 gals @ 170 for 15. 65.2% efficiency!

Finally got to use brown malt!
10lbs British 2 row pale
.5 Chocolate
.5 Brown
.25 Black Patent
.5 Crystal 60
.25 Carapils

Changed up the Hops quite a bit
60 1oz Challenger 7%
10 1 oz UK Kent Golding 5%
5 .5oz Fuggles 4.8
3 .5oz Fuggles 4.8

Pitched Wyeast 1028 @70

1/6/2010 - Just had to comment for when I looked this up again. Friggin fantastic. Wouldn't change a thing.

Yup

2009-10-06T14:57:00.004-04:00

Fat, drunk and stupid is a great way to go through life actually.

F*in Percentiles in SQL

2009-10-02T10:28:00.006-04:00

The thousands of readers of this world class blog recognize my affinity for math and unconditional love for those who proclaim it's value. This week was a banner week in this department as I was able to dedicate portions of several days to working with percentiles and debating the utter failures of various methods with people who care only for equations, not if they make any logical sense. All work fairly well enough with large datasets, each having their quirks. Unfortunately for me, many times I am asked to calculate p90 on a 4 record set. The interpolative options skew significantly to the outer bands in these cases IMNSHO. Excel method is the closest to representing the actual dataset.

In case any developers are out there who are asked to create percentiles in sql, and have reached the end of their rope by finding this heinous blog, here are some of your options. Wish me luck, I am guessing that next week may involve creating the other 4 sas methods.

This is my least favorite. It appears to be known as SAS v4 or MiniTab
create PROCEDURE [dbo].[sp_CalcPercentile_Minitab]
@PVal float,
@PType varchar(255),
@JobID int,
@ReturnVal float OUTPUT
AS
BEGIN
SET NOCOUNT ON;
create table #ptemp
(id int IDENTITY,
val decimal(8,2)
)
declare @RecordCount as int
declare @TargetRow as float
declare @Difference as decimal(8,2)
declare @m as decimal(8,2)
declare @val as float
declare @val2 as float
declare @intcheck as int
declare @sqlCommand as varchar(max)

--set the records up since identity is needed.
insert into #ptemp (val) select x from table Y
set @RecordCount = @@identity

set @TargetRow = (@RecordCount + 1) * @Pval
set @intcheck = convert(int, @TargetRow)

If @TargetRow = convert(float, @intcheck) begin --no need to make up numbers, get crazy and use an actual value
set @ReturnVal = (select val from #ptemp where id = @intcheck)
end
else begin --time make stuff up
set @val = (select val from #ptemp where id = @intcheck)
set @val2 = (select val from #ptemp where id = @intcheck + 1)
set @Difference = @val2 - @val
set @m = @targetrow - @intcheck
set @Difference = @Difference * @m
set @returnVal = @val + @Difference
end
end

Version 2 is known as the excel method. Math nerds hate this. Perhaps because it makes the most sense and allows for a way to check your work?

create PROCEDURE [dbo].[sp_CalcPVal_Excel]
@PVal float,
@ReturnVal float OUTPUT
AS
BEGIN
SET NOCOUNT ON;

DECLARE @percentile FLOAT
SELECT @percentile = @pval;
WITH emp_sal(base, prev_rank, curr_rank, next_rank)
AS
(
SELECT base,
(ROW_NUMBER() OVER ( ORDER BY base ) - 2.0) / ((SELECT COUNT(*) FROM #somewhere) - 1) [prev_rank],
(ROW_NUMBER() OVER ( ORDER BY base ) - 1.0) / ((SELECT COUNT(*) FROM #somewhere) - 1) [curr_rank],
(ROW_NUMBER() OVER ( ORDER BY base ) + 0.0) / ((SELECT COUNT(*) FROM #somewhere) - 1) [next_rank]
FROM #somewhere
)
SELECT @ReturnVal =
CASE
WHEN t1.base = t2.base THEN t1.base
ELSE t1.base + (t2.base - t1.base) * ((@percentile - t1.curr_rank) / (t2.curr_rank - t1.curr_rank))
END
FROM emp_sal t1, emp_sal t2
WHERE (t1.curr_rank = @percentile OR (t1.curr_rank < @percentile AND t1.next_rank > @percentile))
AND (t2.curr_rank = @percentile OR (t2.curr_rank > @percentile AND t2.prev_rank < @percentile))

end

My personal favorite is this one (seriously, no sarcasm here). I like it because it uses actual numbers to slot results, not "interpreted" numbers which by definition skews results. I realize it is slightly less useful, but at least it isn't a lie.

alter PROCEDURE [dbo].[sp_CalcPVal_ActualPercentile]
@PVal float,
@ReturnVal float OUTPUT
AS
BEGIN
-- SET NOCOUNT ON added to prevent extra result sets from
-- interfering with SELECT statements.
SET NOCOUNT ON;

Set @ReturnVal = (select max( expr1 )from (select top (@pval) percent val as expr1 FROM #somewhere where base is not null order by val asc) as expr2)

END

moe.

2009-09-25T14:21:00.004-04:00

I am rocking out to Timmy Tucker>Recreational Chemistry from moe. I don't like moe much at all with microphones on. Maybe I love moe with the microphones turned off. This band has befuddled me for 5 years.

Violence

2009-09-08T09:17:00.003-04:00

This deserves its own post. Fermentation of Double Chin Ale 2.0 is unbelievable, to the point of worrisome. Blowoff tube went in Sunday afternoon. I think I inserted it a bit deep because there was tons of krausen and liquid in the bottom of the tube by monday am. Reset the tube a bit higher and dumped the liquid. Got home last night and there was a bubble into the quart mason jar about every 1-2 seconds with a violent, bad chinese for lunch, gurgle and woosh every 30 seconds. This morning (tues) is no different. I feel somewhat foolish looking at a sealed plastic bucket and laughing like Beavis, but hey, I gotta be me.

There has to be a reason for this. 1.060 isn't all that much in the way of gravity. Perhaps because it was mid to upper 80's in the house saturday when the smack pack was doing its thing? Temp still says 72 on the strip on the bucket.

Thursday night switched back to the regular water lock. Yeast still working their mighty magic. 8 sec bubble spacing after switch.

Disc Golf

2009-09-07T13:34:00.004-04:00

This is just a place holder more than anything else so some day if I ever look back, I have a date.

I started playing disc golf last week. Technically, I started playing with Shemp and Blazo about a month ago before the Gov't Mule concert. It is really up my alley. Woods and enough technical to be interesting and minorly obsessive.

So far I have played South Mountain three times, great lunchtime getaway. I also played Jordan and Lehigh Parkway this weekend. My original problem was a hard hook to the right, 100% opposite of my golf swing. I seem to have that mostly straightened out, no pun intended.

Distance is what kicks my arse at this point, though I am seeing gradual improvement. I was getting 45-50 paces which is a pathetic 150' at jordan. Yesterday at the parkway, I had a couple 62's which is about 190 ish. I can't believe these guys throw 300. I feel like I am giving it all I have in the throw, so I guess it will be a technique thing.

Damn songs

2009-09-07T11:04:00.005-04:00

I have a fairly wide appreciation of music, but a fairly narrow band of bands and songs I listen to in my truck and when I program. These times to me are when I am most in tune with myself. Warren, Allmans, Dead/Jerry/Grismon, Widespread Panic, more Warren, DMB, Bela Fleck, Floyd, Moses Guest. make up 90% of the menu.

Some days different songs strike me. Today, my fancy Sirius beeped at me for "My Morning Jacket" who have some great songs and and some not so great (Austin City Limits was an interesting one for them) so I rustily moved from 17 to "The Loft", cause I was in that kind of mood. Soulful, slow, borderline depressing without being depressed kind of thing (this last clause was to be the core of this post). Song was decent, but not memorable. Then this British girl came on, as I was deciding whether I was going to switch back to Jam on or Howard, and it gave me pause. It was "Cure-esque" if there is such a thing. Her name is Kate Nash and the song was "Nicest Thing". It was about the most heartfelt thing I have heard in a long time. Things like that are why I love music. Usually a riff, or beat, or lyric will strike something in me which resonates. This was kind of opposite, it was like I was being pulled in to what resonated with her, instead of her pushing to me. I obviously can't really explain it. It isn't earth shattering new musicianship by any means and I am sure the lyrics have been done a million times before. Sounds much like Cure "Lovesong" I would say.

Song is basically "He's not that into you". Instead of being campy and pop relevant, it is a mixture of deep soulfelt sorrow and moderatly positive, forward-looking hope? I think I like most that she doesn't once say she loves him, but with swarovski clarity answers what love is to her, and if I were being honest and open, to me.

All I know is that you're so nice,
You're the nicest thing I've seen.
I wish that we could give it a go,
See if we could be something.

I wish I was your favourite girl,
I wish you thought I was the reason you are in the world.
I wish my smile was your favourite kind of smile,
I wish the way that I dressed was your favourite kind of style.

I wish you couldn't figure me out,
But you always wanna know what I was about.
I wish you'd hold my hand when I was upset,
I wish you'd never forget the look on my face when we first met.

I wish you had a favourite beauty spot that you loved secretly,
'Cos it was on a hidden bit that nobody else could see.
Basically, I wish that you loved me,
I wish that you needed me,
I wish that you knew when I said two sugars, actually I meant three.

I wish that without me your heart would break,
Yea, I wish that without me you'd be spending the rest of your nights awake.
I wish that without me you couldn't eat,
Yea, I wish I was the last thing on your mind before you went to sleep.

Look,
All i know is that you're the nicest thing I've ever seen
And I wish we could see if we could be something
Yea, I wish we could see if we could be something

So enough about the dumb song that amazon got 0.99 richer from, and the girl who obviously laid it all out there. It's all about me, here and now, as I blog to me myself and I.

Last time I felt like this, it was a similar kind of song, with Warren covering the U2 tune "One" acoustically. I really obsessed about that one for a while, but as a song, not the lyrics. It took me a week or two to read the lyrics and then I felt weird. I don't go to therapy and don't plan on it. I think I was born with the tools to figure shit out. Realizing some things can't be figured out is a sign of maturity I think. I do have to wonder though if these 2 songs say something about me on a subconscious level, if there is such a thing. Why such a strong, palpable draw? I do think underneath there is something to it obviously.

On the exceedingly rare occasion I have these kind of talks with actual real people, rather than just myself, I get the lecture about setting standards too high, or establishing unrealistic expectiations so as to have an impenetrable barrier. There may be some truth to it I guess. I was married to someone who was never the one, not for a day. I never once felt the way Kate Nash does with the close exception of a girl from college. Is it really wrong to hold out for what she feels? I don't think so. Life is short and I am quite happy with it as it is now. I won't close the door on the possibility of relationshipy things in the future, but I know damn well what it will be like. Thanks Kate. I'm a feeling a little "deep" today because of you which I am not sure how to take, but I have some validation that others have innards similar to mine.

Back in the saddle

2009-09-05T13:37:00.007-04:00

Ah, Labor Day weekend. Time for some sweet labor. Kicked off the weekend in grand fashion with the latest iteration of America pale ale. Slight modifications from last time. Ditched the .5 lb crystal 20 and added .5 wheat. Swapped Nugget for Warrior. Swapped the Amarillo for Cascade.
11lbs American Pale 2 row
1.5 lbs Malted Wheat
.5 lbs Munich

.5 60 Warrior
.5 12 Cascade
.5 12 Chinook
.5 4 Chinook
.5 0 Cascade
Should deliver 42 IBU

Preheated MLT with 3 gals boiling water this time. That was perfect.
4 gals at 166 gave me 153 on the nose which is what I was shooting for. 60 mins later it was 151.

First runnings were 2.5 gals @ 1.080. I really should have gone with my gut and used rice hulls. there was standing liquor at the far end of the MLT. Not sure if the hulls will up that initial run or not.

4 gals @172 for sparge. Held for 15 minutes and ran off. 1.030

Start of 6 gal boil 1.050
End 1.058

I'll take that.

I hope I can milk the Double Chin until this one is ready for some side by side comparisons. My hopes are that it will be slightly less sweet and a bit lighter color. Double Chin screamed cascade from the first taste so hopefully this is a step in the right direction.

Chilled wort down to 95 with chiller then put it in fermenter and put whole thing in beer fridge. Still waiting as I write this pitch the Northwest Ale Yeast.

Efficiency 60.3 with SRM of 4.8 according to http://www.brewheads.com

Unlike last time, this took off like a bat out of hell. Pressure in the airlock before I went to bed. Bubbling at 4 secs when I woke up. Got back from disc golf and there was a bulging bucket with the depressed part of the lid filled with foam. Installed the handy dandy blowoff tube and it is dare I say violently fermenting. Very very strange. Pitched at 72, it dropped to 70, now back up to 72. No idea why this is happening, but is smells great. We shall see rabbit, we shall see.

Sept 14 - moved to secondary and dry hopped with 1 oz cascade plugs. 1.014. First impressions. No bitter bite at all, I think the warrior was a good call, but should have gone heavier. Could have significantly upped the IBU's I am guessing but it should be nice and drinkable.

Sept 22 - Tasted it and it is going to be good. Light on the aroma so added another ounce of cascade plugs and weighted it down with a ton of glass beads. This should be interesting.

Double Chin Ale Kegged

2009-07-24T07:47:00.004-04:00

Kegged the double chin yesterday. Really different, very earthy, dark and warm in taste, with a solid malt profile Nice break from the cascade rat race of late. 1.008fg

Put into serving fridge on 20psi 7/23 20:00.

Beer Tasting

2009-07-14T14:05:00.005-04:00

Out of here tomorrow for a visit with the little brother to drop off baby stuff and hang out, then down to Lake Cayuga for a couple of days R&R for the mind with the college crowd. I self nominated for the beer tasting selection at my new favorite place, Abe's Cold Beer. Should be interesting. Weather doesn't look great, but nothing does in comparison to the last 10 days. Who cares, insobriety is an all weather affair.

12oz x3
Flying Dog Snake Dog IPA
Lagunitas IPA
Southern Tier Hop Sun Wheat
Bells Porter
Bells 2 Hearted Ale
Shastafarian Porter
Stone IPA
Lagunitas Little Sumpin Sumpin
Breckenridge Summer Ale
Ballast Point Yellowtail Pale Ale (kolsch)
Thirsty Dog Siberian Night Imperial Stout

Bombers x1
Pennichuck Fireman's Pale Ale
Port Brewing Hop 15 Imperial IPA
Hoppy Brewing Stony Face Red
Fort Collins Double Chocolate Stout
Hoppin Frog Silk Porter
Rogue Seahorse Pale Ale

Singletrack Zen

2009-07-08T21:18:00.003-04:00

My my my, how I forgot how nice it is to pump some pedals over the river and through the woods. For the first time in a long time mounted the trusty steed and hit Jacobsburg. Did much better than I thought I would, but way short of the pre-hammy paces and endurance of old. I need to get this back into the rotation now that the leg is 100%. No more excuses. Not much other than this allows me to focus strictly on the now, out side of the bike.

Chinook/Amarillo Pale Ale

2009-07-05T14:09:00.005-04:00

"Hmm. That's different", he says with a cock of the head and dives back in for more. Racked the Chinook/Amarillo Pale Ale to secondary. OG 1.016. Still had a nice frothy Krausen, but not too high. Bubbles were 4-5 seconds all week, slowed to 10 friday and was about 18ish today. I thought about keeping it in primary longer, but I like the idea of some fermentation going on in secondary to push out the O2 with CO2. Still very turbid in appearance as I expected. The finish is late and long which I like, earthy and what do you know, spicy as advertised. Thinking less old bay, and more cumin-y? Can't really place it. It almost seemed hot pepper spicy when it went into primary, but it has lost that edge now, which I think I am glad about. It definately needs to be dry hopped, but with what? Initial immediate reaction was cascade would work well with it and brighten it up a bit on the front end. I may do some sniffing around that new Japanese hop. Not sure whether to stay in the earthy end since it is well placed in that category, or th change it up a bit. I don't want more Amarillo I don't think and the Chinook doesn't really smell hoppy to me.

I think I may really like this northwest yeast.

This beer needs a name. Something like 38th unparalleled maybe since I saw Dean and Mouse as it was in primary. I think I am settled on the Patton Porter for a name, lemon wheat will be a standard brew this time of year, so that needs a name as well. Hell, the brewery still needs a name, Imbecile brewing is funny, but I'm not going to proudly write it on a bottle.

Disasters, check

2009-06-27T14:54:00.004-04:00

Well, I hit the gravity. I also shorted out 3 digital thermometers via various assininities, and managed to be more worried about the gravity than the wort flowing into the primary and the hose blocked up on the hop bag i was running it through and spewed 1.5 gals onto the garage floor. Dang. 4.5 gals in the fermenter at 1.057.

Note to self: Put 5 gals of darn near boiling water into the cooler the night before.
"": Buy a waterproof thermometer.

Better yet, figure out how much heat loss occurs overnight and preheat the strike water the day before so brew day starts with the dumping of the grain, right after the de-spackling of the teeth.

Supplies, check

2009-06-26T14:02:00.006-04:00

It's brewing weekend. I have to say that makes me happy. The idea of keg #2 in the kegerator just makes me plain ol giddy. There is certainly question as to whether keg #1 of WKE Wheat will pull a Michael Jackson on me in the next 3 weeks, but hey, it would delay me dropping another $75 on a faucet, shank and gas splitter. It should be ready to tote along to the finger lakes as well. I win.

Shopping list complete for Pale Ale #3

Box of chalk for cool new blackboard painted freezer door to identify the liquidy goodness within.
11 lbs American 2 row Pale malt
.75lb Malted Wheat
.5lb Munich
.5lb Crystal 20

New Yeast: Wyeast 1332 Northwest Ale
I don't know squat about this yeast and don't read much about it, so it should be interesting.

Hops bill has been all over the place for this one. Had some Nugget left over from Uber PA so that was the bittering. I wanted Amarillo again, but needed to mix it with other varieties so it was not so one dimensional. Originally it was Cascade, Glib suggested Centennial which is how I went to Keystone. I got there and Judy says, stick you head in there and smell some bags. That was the start of a good night in college, but a perfect suggestion in my current state. Oh what glorious scent is this? Chinook? I thought old bay for some reason, which seems ridiculous, but anyone who knows me in summer, knows I have a weakness for the sodium laden yellow can. That's a nut tickle from Madam Karma, so into the basket with you.

New MLT will make the maiden voyage tomorrow. I picked up a 70qt Coleman Extreme for $38 or something and converted it over using the 5gal igloo parts.

Getting stoked already.

Oh, I built the latest iteration of the brewing spreadsheet which now includes a standard brewday variable log to make it easier to find things, and hopefully remind me to take all the measurements.

Also put together a strike water calculator and liquor:grist ratio calculator which should both come in quite handy.

Keg legs

2009-06-22T10:45:00.006-04:00

I am swooning, weak in the knees, and laughing at memories of nicknames from college girls past all at the same time. There could be no other title for this post.

Last Wednesday Jun 17, 2009 was a banner day in the annals of Imbecile Brewing Co, it's memory shall be celebrated every day, in perpetuity. My lemon WKE wheat had been in primary long enough. My bottle supply was a tad low. My unused refrigerator in the garage was on my nerves and my thrift (aka vacation account paid a week of expenses instead of the general fund) had left a budget surplus in May. My uber pale ale is having some carbonation issues in random bottles. What a bummer to reach for a cold one after a long hard day of interweb surfing and find a slightly syrupy, flat as a pancake, pale ale greeting me. Hmm, how do these things merge into a single vortex of pleasure say you? Read on.

"Mmmm, Draft Beer" says Homer.

Yup, after some research on the topic and yet another visit to Keystone to see Josh, I walked through downtown Bethlehem on my ergo break with a Cornie under one arm, a #5 co2 tank in the other and a box chock full o regulator, hoses, clamps, seals etc squeezed between. A gigantic shit eating grin plastered upon my melon left no question as to how the mood ring would glow.

"Late lunch" he quips to boss man as the door hits him in the ass. Co-workers nod their knowing approval. 7 miles later, refrigerator fires right up after 2 years, got cold and stayed that way. Turn and burn back to Paycheckville, USA.

Oh the joy, oh the pleasure, oh the ease of pumping primary directly into keg, sealing said device, snapping on an air hose and walking away to paint! Ok, you got me, I checked it and rolled the keg around every 15 minutes to hear the regulator say "splurrsh" as it pumped it's 30lbs of goodness into the whoreish and greedy wheat. 24 hrs later, lots of pressure and head, still somewhat flat underneath. Next morning, woohoo! (It was only a small glass boss man). Backed pressure back to #12 and have been enjoying the goodness ever since.

Now for the beer review of WKE Wheat.
Outstanding shaving creamesque head, beer is very very turbid, almost with a touch of grey, but to be expected with 60% wheat. Lemony nose comes through, head has a slightly bitter and familiar flavor with it, and to a lesser extent the finish. It reminds me of the lemon pith, which I will not do again and stick with just the zesting. It is drinkable though with very low alcohol, as was expected with the wke OG. In the words of Hanna Montana who I listened to 50 times this weekend, next time i need to pump up the party a little.

Verdict? Another $34 to the coffers of Keystone along with my grain bill so my Amarillo Pale Ale this weekend can be keg #2 on tap.

Projects:
Rip out crisper drawers and replace with wooden bottom so it will support second keg.
Pick up #20 co2 bottle from Jimbo that had a previous life as a nitrous tank in the parking lot of the Electric Factory. Ah the irony there.
Get a shank and faucet so the door doesn't have to be opened 50 times a week, err I mean occasionally. Me thinketh this one. Shall I buy 1 or 2?

The mantra RDWHAHB just evolved.

WKE Wheat

2009-05-30T15:17:00.009-04:00

Inspiration hit me out of nowhere friday afternoon at my desk. I had enough of checkbox validation schemes for the new survey system and hit Penn Pizza for a Sam Adams Summer Ale. I drank a case of it last summer and it was good. I needed a new beer style to brew and was in need of checking my efficiency. I wasn't feeling the grains of paradise though, so after work hit Keystone.

5.5lbs American Wheat
4.5lbs American Pale
.5lb Rice Hulls
1056 American Ale 12-May 09 (Wanted the american wheat, but out of stock. Judy says it shouldn't matter that much)
1 lemon
1oz Tettnang 4.7% pellet
1oz Saaz czech 3.4% pellet

To make a long story short, OG came in at 1.040 again.. How in hell is this possible? That's 52.5 efficiency, and I was spot on with everything I wanted. I hit 1.040 with the uber pale ale with 7.5lbs of grain and hit the exact same thing with 10? Something is amuk, it most certainly is me.

3.5 Gals 168 Strike brought grain temp to 154 for Liquor:Grist of 1.33. I preheated the Mash Tun and it held the entire 45 mins. 1.25 Gals boiling water brought it to 169 and I held it for another 15 minutes. Ran that off over 30mins with adjusted gravity of 1.054. Sparged with 3 gals at 169 and held for 15 minutes before starting runoff.

8:30 3.5 gals 122deg water into mash tun to preheat
9:10 Transferred preheat water to HLT
9:27 Added hot liquor and 10lbs grain and .5lb rice hulls in about 4 alternating layers 157 initial temp
9:30 Re-Stir 154deg
10:17 Added 1.25gals boiling water temp to 168. Mash tun Full so lid upside down
10:27 Started run off
10:37 Put back a gallon and started first runnings
10:53 Collected 3 gals first runnings. 1.048 at 107. Added 3 gals 169. Mash temp to 162
11:08 Start second runnings after running 1 gal back
11:30 Fired brew kettle after collecting 3 gals second runnings. Added 1.5 gals to mash at 170 for backup
11:50 Boil
12:00 1oz Tettnang 4.7% pellet
12:15 Ran off .75 gal 3rd runnings to top rivets of brew kettle.
12:50 Yeast nutrients and .5 oz Saaz. Almost added whirlfloc, wouldn't make much sense in a wheat...
12:55 Zest of 1.2 lemon
1:00 Knockout and .5 Saaz
1:15 started chiller Forgot to log what time I started running into primary.
3:15 pitched yeast at 72
1:00 Flameout

June 11- Gravity reading of 1.004. Zested 1 more lemon in. It had a good lemony nose and decent lemon flavor. So I can't complain. Looking forward to it. Broke open an uberpale ale and it was flat flat. Starting to get concerned. Need to drop another in the fridge to rule out a bad seal.

June 17 KEGGED! Specifics are ABV 4.6% 133 cals

Why why why

2009-05-28T12:39:00.002-04:00

Why can't i remember this? I use it all the time, it's simple and i have no goddam recall. Placing here for reference.

Update from:

update tblx
SET tblx.YEGoal = jj.yeg
FROM tblx ke
INNER JOIN jjttmp jj ON (ke.id = jj.storeid and ke.type = 's')

North bound and down!

2009-05-15T17:07:00.002-04:00

Leaving for vacation to Newboro! Still unpacked, but just got the uber pale ale transferred to secondary so my priorities are straight at least. 1.006. This is turning out to be quite an experiment. Smells outstanding. Bitterness is there, doesn't seem overwhelming at this point as I feared with such a low OG. Lesh Philling, tastes fucking great. Definately a light beer, could fit the bill for a post lawn mowing beverage when ice cold.

Uber Light Pale Ale

2009-05-08T23:04:00.005-04:00

RDWHAHB, RDWHAHB he says. Brewhouse efficiency, was about 64.3 to as low as 57 ish. Not exactly sure on volumes and that makes a big difference. Ended up at 1.040. Pretty far off the 1.046-48 I thought I would hit. We shall see how it turns out. According to here that kind of efficiency should have seen me with 9 lbs pale malt, not 7.5. Glad I did not go with 6.5!

7.5lbs Pale Malt
0.62lbs Malted Wheat
.5 Munich Malt
.687 Crystal 20

5:40 Fired 3.5 gals in HLT
5:58 Hit 152, left 3 cups in hlt.
6:08 Stirred 151
6:21 150
6:28 150 Stirred in 2 cups boiling water, no change
6:42 149
7:00 148 Fired 3.75 gals sparge water
7:20 168 batch sparge
7:27 160 uncovered
7:38 Ran off 1 gal then emptied
7:57 added 1 gallon 168 with 6 in brew kettle
8:13 boil
8:23 .5oz Nugget (60min)
8:36 added 3 quarts of 3rd run
9:07 1/2 tsp yeast nutrient in 1/2 cup warm water to hydrate and added whirlfloc to kettle (15 min)
9:12 added yeast nutrients (10 min)
9:15 (7 mins) added 1 oz each Willamette and Cascade
9:22 Flameout, 1 oz Cascade 0 min
15 minute rest
9:37 Chiller in
10:45 Pitched Wyeast 1056 70f

Update: May 23 dryhopped 1oz of cascade. All the marbles in 1 bag still didn't get it to sink.

Hmmmm

2009-05-05T14:16:00.006-04:00

If spam, like love, is blind, do women get endless emails regarding v/agra and Peni$ enlargement, or do they get their own dedicated marketers? Do spammers pull up to the checkout window and say "just the middle age dude's please" when they get their list?

Why don't I get a single email asking me if my tits are saggy or my ass cheeks are full of cheese?

Water Quality

2009-04-28T16:33:00.003-04:00

I got a call back from Easton Suburban Water Authority about water quality. The woman was really nice (Erin?).

Last year is published here: http://www.eswater.net/report_2007.pdf
Here is what I done learnt about 2008.

Calcium 15.7 ppm
Hardness 54
ph 7.15
Sulfate 23.1

Supposedly bicarbonate is calcium + magnesium and magnesium is a property of hardness and calcium? That will take a little bit of research.

Reason so soft she said was because we drink from the Delaware, not from ground water, so the water does not absorb nearly as much minerals as other cities/wells may.

Amarillo Pale Ale

2009-04-26T20:26:00.008-04:00

This is more of a placeholder because I have what I thought was piles of notes to put in for my first all grain batch.

Starting at the end, I bottled today. 1.008 FG. It is outstanding. Amarillo hops really gives it a unique aroma. Should be a real easy drinking beer. Perhaps 5 more ibu's next time? We will see.

April 19- Dryhopped with 1 oz Amarillo plugs split between 2 muslin bags. Put 8 marbles in 1 bag and it did not sink.

April 11- Moved to secondary.

April 4- Brew day.
There was a lot of confusion on my part as to the grain bill. I have notes for both 9 and 10 lbs of pale malt and changed it at least 4 times. I need a new system to log this stuff.

UPDATE: Keystone Homebrew Supply asks for my phone number for a reason. Josh looked it up and it was in fact 10 lbs of Breiss pale malt

Grain Bill
10lbs 2 row Pale Malt
1lb Crystal 40

Water
Put 3 gals hot tap water (119F) into Mash Tun for 30 minutes to get the temp up. Then moved that 3 gals to the HLT.

Process
Alternated adding small parts grain bill and 3Gals 164F water to the mash tun. Stirred and capped.
7 mins 147F. Too Low.
15 mins added 2 qts boiling water and stirred. Temp to 154. Perfect.
45 mins started runoff after recirculating 1 gal. 1.054 @152 Temp adjusted this was 1.070
60 mins Batch sparge 3 gals 168F water. Mash temp 166
95 mins started runoff after recirculating 1 gal and lit brew pot. SG temp adjusted was 1.038
120 mins had 18 cups extra but ended up using 8 of them. to cover for evap

-virtual timer reset to run in reverse now-
70 min boil
60 minutes 1 oz 8.5 AA Amarillo pellets
30 minutes added 2 more cups of mash water
30 minutes added .5 oz 8.5 AA Amarillo pellets
15 minutes anded 1 whirlfloc tablet
4 minutes added 1 oz 8.5 AA Amarillo pellets
0 minutes added .5 oz 8.5 AA Amarillo pellets

Pitched Wyeast 1272 American Ale II

1.054 FG @ 68F

Man boobs

2009-03-28T10:15:00.007-04:00

So you want to learn to grow a set do you? Here is my attempt last night.

Take your child to Friendly's, it's friday for god's sake.

Take 3 pieces of factory grown chicken.
Roll said poultry in batter.
Deep fry.
Soak them in bbq sauce
Smother them in ranch dressing.
Envelop them in gov't cheese.
Smoosh the boob explosive between two pieces of sourdough bread.
For good measure, soak said bread in butter, not that healthy margarine shit.
Grill it.
Serve with deep fried potatoes, then offer El Lard-o a free sundae to wash it down with as his prize.

Jiggle your fat ass home with a smile and watch cartoons with your kid.

Splinters

2009-03-27T13:45:00.013-04:00

I met the single most sexist person of my life, which this year, gets the fat, round number of 20 years ago. He was my college professor and a genius. He repulsed me so much I made sure I was in line early on several occasions to make sure I got into one of the 4 sessions I had with him. He had a way with words, some of which I annoyingly slip into conversation to this day, with a cheesy Pakistani accent of course. "Who said what to who?" Still not sure what that meant, but I incorporate it anyway. Anyhow, he had this thing about women staying where they "belonged", in the home and fulfilling their sole useful purpose of driving the global economic engine with their wasteful spending, and raising of "the splinters" who would some day grow up and increase the depth of said economic pool. He was single and smoked 3 packs of Players Black a day. A man with that attitude and habit was not long for this world. Given the expression of some of my female classmates, I wouldn't be surprised if he met with an un-natural demise.

Splinters, part of something larger, but known for being an enormous pain in the body part of your choice relative to size. Kind of creative I suppose. My life has been filled with splinters this week. I miss Princess, it's one of the very few things I detest, nay hate, about being divorced. I haven't seen her in 2 days. When last we saw our hero, he was stressed out with deadlines and wasn't the best dad he could be, and I hate that. I hate that I stew about it after she is gone, I hate that I can't go back and change time. I wasn't a bad dad, but I wasn't an attentive and deeply patient dad, which means I wasn't the best I could be and that's the only acceptable standard.

Princess was a long time in coming, and I/we traveled a long and winding path to receive that gift. I reconnected with an old friend/flirt/flameless from college on facebook in early Feb. Someone I had not thought of in years, but her name jumped off the page one day on some god forsaken fb page. I read Flameless's info, I read her blog, I read an amazingly heartfelt open letter to her unborn, unknown child that welled my soul like I was some hormonal pre-menapausal splinter producer. Flameless and her husband were traveling the same winding path as I EXACTLY 6 years prior, only they didn't see the end in sight yet. Like me, they didn't even really have a map. We started emailing, talking about adoption and experiences of the winding road and I gave her Barrister Steve's info, caveat emptor galore. Flameless's road immediately overlay mine and was weeks away from fulfillment. Flameless finally had her long sought tracking number, though from an admittedly expensive and unreliable parcel service. Tuesday night saw Flameless with a newborn splinter in her arms named Audrey. For those in the know who traveled the winding road, the pain doesn't come from the splinter, it comes from the road rash. I am flooded with memories, emotions and other feelings I have not dealt deeply with in a long time. That feeling in my arms of a helpless and very, very sick infant. A dependent, with whom I shared no genetic link or history, but one which instantly merged into my soul and to whom I could only promise a future. Knowing.

Being I feel as if I am running a deficit, do I score any karma repair points for a referral? Either way, I miss my baby girl even more than usual. Princess is getting the shit squeezed out of her @ 4:59, you can bet your ass on that.

Maff

2009-03-26T12:28:00.001-04:00

Math is a frustrating thing. A dark and mysterious art saturated with rules and conditions. There are many practicing wizards of this nonsense, and I have never been invited to their party. I don't even know where it's held for god's sake. To some, this may not seem like a big deal. For me, it is an ongoing frustration and insecurity. See, I'm a computer programmer. I take blobs of unrelated "things" and shake them up real well in an electron based game of boggle and spew out silly nuggets that someone thought was a good idea and will make them ONE-MIIIIILION-DOLLARS. Companies large and small seem to love the result and continue do drop off the money bucket every week, of which a pittance spills out and pays off my second mortage in a semi-timely manner.

Everyone I work with, both now and in the past, is a certified wizard in this evil coven. Mr Burns has 2 ph.d's in statistics and something else from Penn. My partner has undergrads from 'Blue in both math and CS, PM has degree in Chemical Engineering from Rensallaer and an MBA with CS focus. BOSS lady from previous life has MS in finite math, whatever the hell that is. The list goes on.

I barely received a bs in...wait for it..wait for it.... marketing! Woohoo, at a state school no less! As everyone knows, marketing is the comfort food consumed by drunken college students to ensure an eventual graduation date and doom themselves to a job scamming their family members into term coverage. I know people change, but I barely like talking to people anymore, especially strangers. What spaced out guidance counsellor convinced me of this heavenly match?

Somehow I jumped ship, but that's a time burner for a different day. I have enough of a pile of 1/2 done posts to churn through.

Why do I hate maff? Here's why, 3 people blew 2 hours each, 2 people blew 1 hour each on the following 3rd grade problem. The collective cost of their education exceeds $700,000 and that's not inflation adjusted. My $9,000 education failed me. I still disagree with the outcome, but I also know I am wrong.

Round 55.649999 to 1 decimal place. 9 rounds the 4 to a 5 and takes the 6 to a 7 right? Ennh, of course not. Answer is 55.6. Why did the decimal section in 5th grade math take weeks and weeks? I think my state funded education failed me. I'm bitter for some reason. But you probably couldn't tell.

Porter 2 Transfer

2009-03-14T14:06:00.002-04:00

Moved to secondary. G 1.016. Tasted pretty good, only time will tell.

Porter II Bubble Report

2009-03-10T14:10:00.009-04:00

Well. The curious case of the missing bubbles has been somewhat solved. First bubbles sighted at 2pm Tuesday, 15 sec's apart. Moved fermenter from back basement to finished side to get it up to temp. Gauge on side of the bucket still says 66, but it said 63. I guess that made enough of a difference.

3-7 20:00 0 63
3-8 20:00 0 63
3-9 08:00 0 63
3-9 20:00 0 64 Moved to finished side
3-10 08:00 0 64
3-10 14:00 15 66
3-10 19:00 4 68
3-11 08:00 3 68
3-11 18:00 2 70?
3-12 20:00 3 70
3-13 8:00 8 70
3-14 08:00 32 70
3-14 13:00 Transferred to secondary
3-14 20:00 54 68

Porter Deux Brew

2009-03-07T19:34:00.004-05:00

What a great day. Spring fever hit hard as temps were in the 70's after shoveling 4 inches on Monday. What better way to celebrate than to get my brew on with the porter. 8am found me at Cabelas becoming the proud new owner of a stainless steel 30qt pot, and the cabelas fish cooker base. More than I wanted to spend, but oh well. I look at it as an "hey, it wasn't cancer" present. Used 70$ in cabelas points so it evened out.

Brew went well, up until boil almost started and I realized I was 1 oz short of fuggles. Keystone was open and hazed me appropriately. I could no be happier with the outcome so far. Pitched at 63 degrees!

Burner only used about 2 lbs of propane??? Is that possible?

2:25 2.5 gals in steep pot with grain bill of .5 Crystal 60, .5 Chocolate, .5 black patent and .75 Carapils
2:56 152 degrees
3:10 cranked up stove to Med High
3:13 158 degrees. Fired burner outside with water level up to 2 inches below "min fill mark"
3:30 Moved hot liquor to brew pot. Sparge 1.5 gals @ 172
3:42 Pot level up to bottom rivets.
3:50 Emergency shut off and race to Keystone for 1 oz of fuggles because I am a dumbass
4:26 Pot fired up. Added 6 lbs of dme which took to within 1 inch of the top. Took time with heat to avoid boilover
5:05 Tossed 1 oz bramling cross pellets in a bag and stated count down
5:50 1 oz fuggles and whirlfloc. Whirlfloc damn near caused boilover.
5:58 .5 oz fuggles
6:02 .5 oz fuggles
6:05 flameout and chiller in
6:55 Started transfer, wort at 64
7:20 Pitched pretty weak bag of 1028 London Ale at 63 degrees dated Jan 20 that smacked at 1pm. This yeast better not screw me by being old.

OG 1.055

Tasted a shot of the liqor at 152, post 152, 158 and sparge. Pretty interesting profiles. Could definately tell it was thicker at 158, but that may just have been due to time.

March 28, 2009- Bottling day. I have to say, it is good as it is. I think the carapils did the job. I will be interesting to see how the carbonation and rest change things, but at the moment, I couldn't be happier with a flat warm porter and I am drinking the schwag as I speak. FG 1.013

Original Extract 13.55
Apparent Extract 3.32
Real Extract 5.25
Specific Gravity 1.021
Apparent Attenuation 75.5
Real Attenuation 61.3
ABW 4.4
ABV 5.7
Cals/12oz 188

Shopping

2009-03-06T14:14:00.004-05:00

Today is shopping day for what I hope to be a brewing day tomorrow. Tonight a turkey fryer is the objective. Went to Keystone for the ingredients of Programmer Porter Deux.

1/2lb Crystal 60
1/2lb Chocolate
1/2lb Black Patent
3/4lb Carapils

1oz Bramling Cross Pellets 7%
1oz Fuggles plugs 4.5%
[edit] 1oz Fuggles plugs 4.5%
6lbs Muntons Light DME 8 ebc/3.5 L

1028 London Ale Jan 20 2009.

ESB Bottleing

2009-02-14T14:18:00.003-05:00

Little brother J came down from Rochester last night and we had a great time with some BBQ and broke open the first Malbec. BBQ was outstanding, and the Malbec hit the spot, though I must admit it is lacking a little something, it is a really easy drinking wine. I will enjoy the next dozen, but I think another couple months of aging is in order.

ESB cleared significanly, so it was time to bottle. FG was 1.010. Drinking one now flat and warm and it's pretty good. No hop aroma to speak of, I think it may be a dry hop candidate if I do it again.
ABV 5.5, abw 4.3 Apparent attenuation 78.1%, real attenuation 63.4%, calories 177/12oz.

Surgery is on wed am. This should be ready by the time I am off anti-biotics.

ESB Transfer

2009-01-31T10:10:00.004-05:00

Transferred the ESB to secondary. It has been a week, it should have stayed in primary longer, but I have to admit, I would like to see a little fermentation in secondary for purely visual purposes. A LOT of trub came through in the end as evidenced by the picture. I wasn't going for "every last drop" either. There was basically no solid cake on the bottom. We will see, live and learn. Hopefully it compacts down and clears. Gravity is 1.018 It taste's pretty good, a bit light, but seems balanced? I think I would like the color a little more red, but it is hard to tell at this point.

Maybe Jason can help me bottle in 2 weeks when he is here.

Bought the porter book Dean recommended and read it cover to cover last night. What great insights. I think next bacth will be Porter redux. Up crystal from .5 to 1lb, chocolate from .5 to .75 and maybe back the patent down to 5oz. I may also put 1 lb of british 2 row in. Also up the partial mash temp to 157ish.

Cioppino Vino

2009-01-24T14:24:00.005-05:00

Very exciting wine day with Bob and Kat. We bottled what should prove to be our best attempt yet with the cab. It is clear, but so dark you can barely see through it. Very strange. Taste is really good, though obviously young. I have a feeling it should go 6 months or so, though 1 test bottle will have to be broken out early i am sure.

Went with a new style kit and started off a merlot. This one included grape skins (and branches and other sordid items) and 3 different kinds of oak. Grape skins when reconstituted smelled exactly like raisins obviously, but it took a minute to register. OG was ridiculous at 1.110. (Cab was 1.086 and malbec was 1.082 I believe).

Tasted the malbec finally as part of a fruits of the labor tasting with some of Kat's outstanding Cioppino. I have had a lot of the Shiraz obviously so that was nothing new, The cab was really interesting so green. But the malbec, I have to say it turned out pretty well. Massive differences between out of the bottle, vs through aerator, vs 30-45 minutes to breathe. Not sure if this will change over time, or it just happens to be a function of the wine. I think I will let my bin sit another 3 months before cracking one open.

ESB Bubble report

2009-01-24T09:28:00.024-05:00

1-24-09 10:00 35 secs (12hrs after pitch)
1-24-09 13:00 5 secs
1-25-09 8:00 Holy Krausen! Had a blowout so switched to a blowoff
1-25-09 17:00 5 secs through blowoff
1-26-09 7:00 5 secs through blowoff
1-26-09 21:00 5 secs through blowoff
1-26-09 7:00 5 secs through blowoff
1-27-09 18:30 7 secs through blowoff
1-28-09 9:30 6 secs through blowoff
1-29-09 8:00 6 secs through blowoff. This is getting ridiculous
1-29-09 22:00 8 secs through blowoff.
1-30-09 8:00 6 secs through blowoff.
1-30-09 23:00 7 secs through blowoff.
1-31-09 8:00 8 secs through blowoff.
-Transferred to Secondary-
1-31-09 21:30 8 secs bubbler
2-1-09 9:30 13 secs
2-1-09 20:30 18 secs
2-2-09 21:30 24 secs First signs of clearing, but still heavy yeast with a lot of movement
2-3-09 20:00 23 secs
2-4-09 7:00 17 secs
2-5-09 8:00 22 secs
2-5-09 21:00 27 secs Still a LOT of yeast in suspension and carbonation is very evident
2-6-09 17:00 33 secs
2-6-09 21:00 36 secs
2-8-09 9:00 60 secs. For the first time yeast at the bottom is moving down and not up. Significant clearing, but not enough to bottle.
2-8-09 22:00 79 secs

I'm special

2009-01-23T23:33:00.007-05:00

Spur of the moment decision to get my brew on this weekend with an ESB. All went well. Steeped for 30 mins at 153. Took a long time to get up to temp.

6lbs Muntons extra light dme
1/2lb Crystal 60
1/2lb Breiss Victory 20
1oz UK Challenger pellets 60mins
1oz Kent Golding 2 mins
Wyeast Thames Vly 1275 pitched at 76
Whirlfloc 15mins

OG 1.050

Spoke with Dean on facebook, he is up to 200 gals a year with an amazing setup. He is prodding for a full boil burner. Maybe when the weather warms.

What is Hayseed Cable??

2008-12-15T13:52:00.003-05:00

Has anyone else noticed the repurposed election signs on the side of 33 and 22 handpainted on black with the words "Hayseed Cable". How can the google not have any valid hits on this? Sometimes inquiring minds just need to know.

Quote of the day: No one dies a virgin, Life screws us all.

Day-o-the-booze

2008-11-29T10:13:00.002-05:00

Bottling day for the porter. FG 1.012 I am really curious to see how it is carbonated and cold. Still striking me as a bit odd, and can't pin why.

Bottled the Malbec as well and a great day with sdog and olr as always. It came out really really well. Racked the cabernet and added a little bid of the wood chips, and topped up with a bottle of the malbec. I think it will be spectacular.

Leaving bright and early tomorrow for gun season. Weather is looking rough for the ride with rain starting sun afternoon and continuing on until mon am 7ish, the some snow?

Musical obsession of the day

2008-11-25T09:28:00.005-05:00

Live version of "Round Here" by Counting Crows on Howard struck a nerve. I was never into them much before I guess, they are really talented it seems.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-WiRLHBAxrU&feature=related

Porter transfer

2008-11-23T11:21:00.003-05:00

Oh porter, can you transfer yourself there please?

Gravity 1.014. Taste is..different. I think it will be drinkable for sure. It's not bitter like I thought it may be with the 1/2 lb of black patent. It's almost light? It's a touch fruity perhaps because of the hops? Can't pinpoint what I am tasting. Still bubbling every 32 secs or so and gravity of 1.014. Seems odd, i expected gravity of 1.02 ish? This may need to go to a beer meeting to they can tell me what I am tasting.

Final addition

2008-11-22T02:29:00.002-05:00

Mowed the lawn to pick up the leaves and got at least a little bit of grass clippings in there as well. Pile is now officially full. Center is starting to smell earthy and was a little steamy on the frosty day. Turned it up a little, but there is so much it wasn't too simple.

Bubbles

2008-11-21T18:19:00.007-05:00

Bubble spacing for the porter:
Wed AM None (blowoff)
Wed PM 4 secs (bubbler)
Thurs AM 3 secs
Thurs PM 3 secs
Fri AM 4 secs
Fri PM 11 secs
Sat AM 28 secs
Sat PM 28 secs
Sun AM 32 secs
Sun PM 52 secs (secondary)
Mon AM 52 secs
Tues AM 1:45

Err, Toasted Hops?

2008-11-18T21:40:00.009-05:00

Tonight was the night to brew a Porter. There are numerous reasons to thank the stars I am again single, but 2 boilovers on my own damn stove, now that's just fantastic. What exactly is the substance that will help me remove this carmalization??

Had 2 pots boiling at one point swapping liquid back and forth to leave headspace and cover evaporation. Worked pretty well. Note to self, do not put the lid on next time. Note to self, don't do it a second time either. I have a feeling I may have burnt something in the pot. 2 of the muslin bags came out with a dark spot on them. We will have to see how this turns out.

Finished the wort chiller while water was heating up and it worked like a CHAMP. Was down to 111 degrees at 7 minutes, though it slowed significantly after that getting to 72.

Put a mesh strainer in the top of the bucket and siphoned through it with height for aeration. Worked like a charm, ended up with 2 inches of thick head on the top. Assuming that is good.

Finally cracked open a brown ale to have while I brewed and it was freaking fantastic. I see another batch of that coming next I do believe.

Porter Recipe:
1/2lb Chocolate Malt
1/2lb Black Patent
1/2lb Crystal 60L
Steeped at 154 for 45mins

6lbs Muntons Plain light malt
1oz Bramling Cross whole leaf 7% 60 Mins
1oz Fuggles whole leaf 4% 15 minutes
1/2oz Fuggles 7 mins
1/2oz Fuggles 3 mins
1 Whirlfloc tablet at 15

Wyest 1028 London ale

OG 1.052

Soyanara

2008-11-11T09:07:00.004-05:00

Off for some much needed vacation in the mountains. Tues - Sunday is the longest stretch in years. Weather is perfect and trap line is set supposedly. Giddyup. Ordered 25ft of 3/8" copper to make a chiller yesterday for $19.99. $77 at lowes for 50.

Bottling Day

2008-11-08T10:12:00.005-05:00

So, I'm retarded. The line I measured on the primary fermenter was 4.25 gallons, not 5. I was wondering why there was so much headspace in the better bottle. Filth-flarn, filth.

Anyhow, bottled today, leaving tues am for the last week of archery and didn't want to wait until the following tuesday, though I probably should have. FG of 1.015. Broke a bottle capping, but other than that, got 22 16oz bottles capped and 15 12oz swingtops. (4.16Gals) If they hold carbonation just as well, I think it may be worth the investment?

Still a bit cloudy, should have gone the full week in primary and 2 weeks in secondary but had to get this batch in the bottle. Excited.

What next? Porter on the brain, but oatmeal stout running a close second.

Final stats:
Alcohol (volume) 5.5%
Alcohol (weight) 4.3%
Apparent attenuation 72.3%
Real attenuation 58.6%
Specific Gravity 1.023

Mmm, floaters

2008-11-06T10:30:00.002-05:00

Such clever titles the last few days eh? I purchased 2 cases of 24 empty 16oz returnable bottles yesterday for a grand total of $3. Couldn't see spending $60 on the swingtops. I must say, the process proved a bit disgusting with some mold involved etc. I think all is well now. Soaked in double strength hot 1-step solution for 15 minutes for cleaning and label removal, then used the sink attached jet washer to clean them out (thanks Matt). After the first 9 bottles and the floaters in the sanitizer bucket, they got an extended hot jet wash before and after the soak.

Stegmeier bottles were fairly beat up and the glue was really thick like the barrel paste from elementary school. The Straub bottles had a much better box, nearly new bottles and the labels came off like a breeze. The 1 box of Straub they had there was full to the top with spider webs and leaves. Glad we looked before I picked that one.

Ick

2008-11-05T10:24:00.004-05:00

For the first time, I in fact voted for a republican for president yesterday. Kind of a bummer. I think this guy is dangerous, a verified racist and fiscally irresponsible. He is now the commander in chief elect so I wish us all the best. So many chose to focus on the color of his skin or the fact that his party was different than Bush. I understand the displeasure with Bush, god knows I have it myself, but this dude is bad news. Does this mean it is acceptable now for a klansman to run for president? I certainly hope not, but it is quite a precedent. Not since LBJ's second term have we knowing elected an open racist. This is a huge step backwards for both America and the democratic party.

Election day Vino

2008-11-04T10:39:00.002-05:00

Having had my fill of politics, Bob's call that it was wine night was an absolute port in a storm. Degassed the malbec and added clarifier. The spinny attachment thing was pretty cool. Hopefully we didn't do too much harm and got all the bubbles out. The shiraz spritzer is kind gross and I hope to avoid that this time. Also added about 1.5oz of the medium oak chips. Plan is to let that sit for the next 2 weeks and see what happens. Tasted it and it seemed a bit thin like the shiraz was, but pretty good overall. Hopefully the oak will add some body, and some time will add even more.

Since there is no where near enough fermentables going on in my life, we decided to start on the extra fancy australian cabernet. What the heck am I going to do with all this booze? OG for the cab was 1.084 for god's sake. This will be some strong stuff. The juice tasted fantastic, very sweet obviously from the OG. 4 packs of oak powder proved a challenge to dunk and mix but we were up for the task. We had a bubble already after dinner so things are looking good. Looking at the time frame and an extra transfer step, this one won't go to bottles until Januaryish?

Lame

2008-11-03T14:48:00.002-05:00

So telerik has me grinding my teeth again. Who would really want to stay on page 2 after a data rebind?? Should this not be a default? This came out of the default being to display page 2 of a 1 page radgrid after a page forward

"
Hi sortagreen,
To reset the page index for the grid when you change the selected item in the dropdown (and the data source for the grid respectively), merely set <RadGridInstance>.MasterTableView.CurrentPageIndex = 0 before the call to the Rebind() method of the control.
"

Can I really vote for a republican?

2008-11-03T14:44:00.003-05:00

While an admittedly unvetted email, it pretty much sums up this election for me. My traditional democratic values of environmentalism and personal liberty have been kicked to the curb this cycle in honor of giveways. There are so many quotes that ring true, but this just happened to come in and it's correct. Our political future is in a death spiral.

During this election year let's be reminded of these words:
* You cannot help the poor, by destroying the rich.
* You cannot strengthen the weak, by weakening the strong.
* You cannot bring about prosperity, by discouraging thrift.
* You cannot lift the wage earner up, by pulling the wage payer down.
* You cannot further the brotherhood of man, by inciting class hatred.
* You cannot build character and courage, by taking away men's initiative and independence.
* You cannot help men permanently, by doing for them what they could and should, do for themselves.

The author?

Abraham Lincoln

Thought of the day

2008-11-03T12:45:00.001-05:00

All that we are is the result of what we have thought. If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows him. If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him. - Buddha

Then I get this fortune at lunch.
Success is when you get what you want. Happiness is when you want what you get.

Secondary

2008-11-02T11:16:00.005-05:00

Moved the fine smelling ale to a clear better bottle for secondary fermenting. This is my first time with this step so it will be interesting to watch how it clears. There was about 3/8" of trub on the bottom of the bucket and quite a caking on the lid and inside from all that fermenting. It smells absolutely fantastic. Taste was much better than expected, great even especially given the yeasty, flat and warm state of things. I am getting excited.

SG was 1.016. Still a little higher than I would expect but the next week or two should see that go down right? Perhaps should have waited a few more days, but wine needs to be racked tues at Bob's house and I didn't want to let this go until wed.

This project kicked a desperately needed side project of basement cleaning and organizing off and it is amazing how much nicer thing are already.

After only 5 hours in the secondary, some clearing occurred at the top with a layer of sediment forming at the bottom. Color went from a reddish to almost black.

Added a fair bit of leaves to Pyle, along with trub mixed in with approx 4 gals of water. It is supposed to rain tonight, I can't believe after all the rain we had over the last couple weeks how dry it is in the center. Smells pretty earthy, but no temp raised that I can see. I am not going sit back there with a hose to get it started..

Clouseau: Were you expecting one? A beaum?

2008-10-29T07:00:00.011-04:00

Finished cleaning up around 11-ish last night and caught some shuteye. Woke up at 6 and had to check on things. Recipe said fermentation should start around 24hrs or so after pitching so I was completely unprepared for what awaited me in the brewery.

The fermenter was err..engorged and had become a beer bomb. It was foaming and making high pressure sounds as foam escaped around the rim of the lid and bucket. It looked a bit like an egg. Carefully removed the lid of the air lock which shot the airlock and a cup of foam several feet into a pile of junk that desperately needs to be cleaned. Vigorous fermentation achieved! I used a 3/8" drillbit and bored out the little pinholes in the airlock cap to let the pressure and foam come out while I was at work. It was a steady eruption. Any liquid I put in the airlock got blown right back out. Slightly worried about contamination, but at that steady pressure and foaming, little chance of something getting into the hole. I have succeeded in developing yet another hobby resulting in massive CO2 generation.

Went to Keystone as soon as they opened and got some advice and a length of hose to use as a blowoff and ran home at lunch to implement. Bubbles coming vigorously about every second through blowoff. Who needs solar? We should turn turbines with beer! Crisis averted. My house emits the glorious aroma of hops. I am digging this.

Thought for the day: What's the terrapass offset for explosive fermentation of an American Brown Ale? I wonder if they sell them for my 5 bean chili as well now that I think about it.

Smells like a brewery

2008-10-28T23:45:00.006-04:00

October 28 2008 found the home brewery taken out of mothballs with a brown ale. This was the first in probably 15 years and the process wasn't bad at all. I had recently done 2 batches of wine with Bob and Kathy that need to be posted but not any beer in a while.

I got the recipe from Mother Earth News. Followed all directions and OG was 1.050, though temp was around 90 when I took it. Had an odd response from the digital thermometer after leaving the probe in the 1 step sanitizer solution for about a half hour. It was reading temps about 10 degrees off after being spot on all night. Pretty uneventful all in all. No boilovers, and I really liked the muslin boiling bags. Cooled the wort out on the front porch and just got too tired around 10:30 to wait any more so pitched the yeast and sealed it up. Temp read 101 degrees in the wort and 80 for an air temp which was really 70. Corrected OG should be 1.054 according to Brew Calcs. Recipe below, except I only used 1 packet of yeast per Keystone Homebrew Supply suggestion and the centennial hops were pellet form , not whole leaf.

3 ounces 60L (Lovibond) crystal malt
2 ounces chocolate malt
2 ounces biscuit malt
1 ounce 550L black malt
6 pounds Muntons plain light dry malt extract (DME)
1 ounce whole leaf ‘Cascade’ hops
1 ounce whole leaf ‘East Centennial’ hops
2 packets Windsor Ale yeast (or other dried ale yeast)

T minus a-lot

2008-10-26T12:59:00.001-04:00

Got a camera, love it. Added some new roughage in the form of leaves to Pyle and turned it a bit. Do dry brown grass clippings count as greens or browns???

Strike!

2008-10-25T11:55:00.004-04:00

My 5.5 yr old princess went bowling for the first time. Great family outing. She nearly beat me in the first game and rolled a strike. That chinese buffet did not see our family coming.

Day started with a trip to see the circus. It was pretty cool and princess E loved it. May I please interject that $10 cotton candy should come with jail time for the purveyor?

Pyle!

2008-10-19T12:54:00.003-04:00

So, I decided to increase my Gomer score and start a compost pile. It has been brewing for a while now and it is lame to just not do it.

Dimensions are approx 5x5. Used a pile of grass clippings dumped from the summer that were very, very dry and the clipping from today that had a lot of leaves mixed in with them.

Went to take a picture of it for a day 1 shot and the camera won't turn on. Green light just blinks once and that's it. Looks like another unplanned expense in the immediate future. I love newegg..

Today is the Bottom

2008-10-10T14:28:00.001-04:00

Today, both brother J and I have indepentantly declared a bottom in the stock market. Jumped into so several positions SPY, IJT and IJS. This slide has gone on quite long enough. I have decided to end it personally by providing support at 850 on theS&P with a massive cash infusion to the market of $500. Hey, it's not helicopter Ben and the T.A.R.P., but it worked.

Charlie Dent screwed us

2008-09-29T15:33:00.002-04:00

Today what little faith I had in our executive and legislative branches was crushed. I can see if you are a politician and vote no on every occasion new spending comes up or something. We need them. But please, this vote was asinine.

Re: Nay vote on HR 3997

Congressman Dent,

I have voted for you in the past and had planned on doing so again in November. If I read the roll call correctly for the vote on HR 3997 at 2:07 PM on Sept 29, 2008, you voted against the recovery bill, and in my judgement, against your constituents.

I believe you placed your personal political future above your sworn duty to protect the United States of America. I find this to be unacceptable behavior and am deeply disappointed in your actions.

I am no fan of Sam Bennett, but I must give her a chance to represent me in November, based solely upon your recent actions.

Sincerely,

SortaGreen

JOSM Progress

2008-01-23T09:55:00.000-05:00

I am guessing that I will need a section on here somehow to spike out GPS related things. I have purchased a Garmin Vista Hcx, what a world of difference between the old GPS 12 and this. Full reviews to come at some point.

I have been working on creating maps and have learned a bit thus far. Roadmaps are based off of http://www.openstreetmap.org. I have completed mapping most of Bethlehem Township at this point but need to focus on street names in some of the areas. .IMG's are being posted to http://mapcenter.cgpsmapper.com/ in an effort to improve the coverage of this area. Also working on Topo maps. Posted one for tug plateau in NY where I just got back from a XC skiing trip. Need to work on the northwest territories in Canada soon to get topo maps ready for a friends Dahl Sheep hunt in August.

Big find of the day was a way around the "You are out of memory, strange things may happen" in JOSM. Apparantly, JVM only allows so much memory. Launching the .jar with this string has allowed the map area to grow by 10 fold. The line below allocates 1 GB memory to JOSM.

java -Xmx1024M -jar C:\logicaldrive\GPS\josm-latest.jar

4 Year checkup

2007-06-27T09:39:00.001-04:00

Today was my princesses 4 year checkup, 20% percentile in height, holy crap. She really shot up. Packed on 3 pounds to top out at a whopping 30. Came back to the office and checked out http://www.amidabuddha.org Boy, this couldn't be more true.

"But if you do not find an intelligent companion, a wise and well-behaved person going the same way as yourself, then go on your way alone, like a king abandoning a conquered kingdom, or like a great elephant in the deep forest. - Buddha"

Rode to work and back yesterday for 16.1 miles. I wish I could do that more.

New Blogger

2007-06-10T12:21:00.000-04:00

Upgraded to the new blogger. Forgot I was keeping this.

Last Jacobsburg of the year?

2006-09-13T21:38:00.000-04:00

I was going to start Jacobsburg early tonight anyway, but Phil posted an early start at 5:30 so met up with him and another guy from easton. Steady pace, I held them up a bit, especially at the bottom of the downhills. Crashed a few times early on for little to no reason. Screwed up my knee a little because I couldn't get out of the clips on the second one. Loosened them up a bit, I think the angle of the clip may be the issue but we'll see how this adjustment goes. Overall a great night that pushed me at parts and I held my own in most. 11.9 miles over 1.5 hrs was just what the dr ordered for maybe one of my last rides of the year. Rides recently have been more like 7.5 so that was awesome.

Donut Delight

2006-09-04T14:24:00.000-04:00

Absolutely outstanding day. Finished the race without an issue. Could have kept going actually. 4 donuts first stop, 3 the second. Dude who won ate 17, apparantly 15 the first time! Phil came in second in his class and ate 13 I think. Mine are sitting like a rock, but I felt good during the race.

Started off pre-race with the camelback and didn't see a single other one on so opted for the frozen gatorade as the sole source of fluids. Felt pretty good and airy actually. Didn't need much of the gatorade.

Start was relatively uneventful and first 3/4 mile was SLOW. Once around the first turn things seperated out quickly. Met up with Liz and Chuck and had a nice ride. I went out a little fast and it was WINDY. Worst was about 2 miles from finish, wind dead on and had to be 20mph. That really took it out of me, thank god it was at the end. Liz and Mat boogeyed on ahead after about 5 miles as my quads started to really tighten up. Chuck and I caught up with them about 5 miles later and helped Liz fix her blowout and get her back on the road. Quads loosened up during that and never looked back the rest of the day. 4 donuts first stop, bathroom break and a bottle of water and back on the road. Rode with Matt for a while, seems like a nice guy. He didn't get into the race, person in front of him in line got the last pass. He peeled off on his new bike to see his dad and Liz and I pretty much rode together the rest of the day. Rest of the race was uneventful. Long sections of just pedaling, no thoughts going through my head, feeling like a machine. Exactly what the Dr ordered, I don't get that level of peace much.

Heading into the wind at the end just about whopped me, but got some encouragement from Liz, jammed the GT into high and pedaled like hell.

I will definately do this again. I got 37.2 miles on the computer, 15.2 average, 2:24 of pedal time. I am going to be sore tomorrow, but who cares. I want to do this road thing again.

Slackin and smackin

2006-09-03T20:41:00.000-04:00

Slacking on the updates this week. Lots has happened and tomorrow is the big day. Here we go.

Shoes finally arrived on Monday, almost tipped the ups guy. Tried them on, close enough, then ripped down to Saucon Valley Bikes before they closed. Grabbed a pair of Shimano SPD pedals that were taken off of another bike, plus some socks and goo. Don't have to pay psycho's health insurance any more so happy birthday to me. Pedals went on easily at home and got the cleats fitted into the shoes and took a spin in the pitch black around the neighborhood. Practiced clipping in and out a few hundred times. Wasn't nearly as bad as I thought they would be. Decided to leave them on and give them a try a Jacobsburg Wednesday.

Jacobsburg went fair. Rained like crazy the day before so the trails were real slick and I was real tentative and tight because of the shoes. First part went well, could tell the differnce the shoes made when I let them, spent a lot of time clipping in and out before obstacles etc, that will come with time. Up the powerline then to the usual downhill. Slipping all over the place and legs were like steel. Finally loosened up a little then starting going around a curve on a fairly flat section and wham. I am face down in some muck. Left shoe still clipped in but right popped out right away. Bike was parallel to the ground I think. Got the first place trophy in my short but prolific history of crashes. Turns out from the guy behind me said i hit a root and tire slid right down it. What I hit was some newly laid cinders like the kind on the tow path. Made for a fairly soft, yet dirty landing. Some scratches and what not, but not too much worse for the wear. I think these tires blow, need an upgrade after this race. Ride finished in total darkness again. Lots of work being done up there. Should be interesting in the coming months.

Wednesdays are probably pretty much done for now with hunting season around the corner but I would like to do at least 1 more. Need to get more arrows under my belt and broadheads still have to be put on and tuned.

Rode to heights on friday for bread that's about it though. Put together a bike rack during hurrican ernesto yesterday. Pretty interesting project. Have 1/2 of it cemented together, enough for tomorrow at least.

Ah tomorrow..the Donut derby! Signed up for it, figured what the hell. Getting pretty excited about it actually. Need to get up at 6:15 on my first day off in months, but hey, i can and probably will sleep in the afternoon. Supposedly going to ride with Liz and Chuck and maybe a few others. Carbed up for dinner with some penne with venison inside loin, black olives, capers, mushrooms, garlic, onions and cayenne. Came out real well, may be been better with some seafood. Plans are for a big bowl of oatmeal in the morning, get the camelback filled (is that cool in a road race?)

Sure I will be a bit of a doofus on my mtb, but who cares. Going to try and finish and have a good time. Need some icecream and off to bed. Need all the energy I can get tomorrow. Weather looks to be fantastic after a rough week of rain.

Cheers.

Donut dry run?

2006-08-27T15:11:00.000-04:00

Today was supposed to be the day for the dry run of at least some of the Donut Derby, sans donuts. Donut need any practice there! Weather proved to be anything but dry. Nice thing about road riding is there is no run. Met Cody in the parking lot, asked a few questions, found out he expected an easy 18mph average and I skedaddled. Drove the first part of the course. Appears to be mostly flat, shouldn't be to tough out of the gate. Made it to the park with only a few wrong turns. It had stopped raining for the most part so hopped out of the HEMI and on to two wheels.

Rain started up about 5 minutes later, lightly at first, then progressed through the rest of the ride. Cody had said, water is water, guess he had a point. Had to adjust the seat up a bit at the bank about 1.5 miles in. Some pain in my right kneecap and to reading led to the quick fix. Went up about 3/4 inch and it made a world of difference. Had some problems at 2nd turn, then again at 3rd turn and 5th turn. Added about 3 miles to what it should have been so that was good. Some decent hills on the wrong turns tested the quads a bit. About 8 miles in i felt myself turning into a machine and just pedaling without thinking. Loved it. Shoes were filled with water, I need to get different socks for sure. Can't wait for the shoes to come in, they would have made a world of difference. STILL no update on the UPS site since departure in CA. I really hope they come tomorrow like it says so I can get these things broken in. Pretty much set on going with SPD pedals right away. Tomorrow would be nice!

Third leg looks like it will be tough. More uphills it seemd then the first 2, twists and turns. Plus 25 miles on the legs and it should be interesting. Going to pick up so goo when I get the pedals. have a feeling I am going to need it. It would be nice to have a little bigger 3rd front ring. Was ahead of it quite a bit and spent at least 50% of the time turned all the way up.

In all, had a fantastic time. Legs held up well, could have gone way longer, but got a little tired of the rain and the constant spray in my face and soggy shoes. Would have been even easier if I knew where I was going and could just pedal and not look at the cue and make wrong turns.

I think I am going to do the donut derby, at least give it a shot. With the confidence of today, plus hopefully the new pedals and shoes, should be a good time, one I can hopefully finish.

15.4 miles 14.7 average 1:05 of wheels turning.

37 and spinning

2006-08-25T19:16:00.000-04:00

Wednesday night at Jacobsburg, first real ride after my birthday. Ordered the cheapest shoes I could find on pricepoint on Monday as mine are starting to literally fall off my feet. UPS still has not updated the progress since tuesday. Don't they know i need progress reports! Those timberlands have seen lots of miles and lots of good times. We'll see how these new ones do with stiffer soles. Happy $38 birthday to me. Maybe they will help for the Donut Derby.

Riding is just getting more and more fun. Another great ride tonight with fantastic weather. So much easier to breath with the temps/dewpoints down. Deraliur adjustment worked like a champ. Threw chain off of front 1 time transitionining up the little hill near the big bridge. That's what i get for downshifting both sets on the pump. Other than that, it shifted better than when new. Actually spent very little time in the small front ring. Legs seemed bulletproof. Met Matt from Dirt Devils and a few other guys. Darkness is descending faster and faster. Could have gone quite a bit longer than the 8.5 I registered. Rode home in almost complete darkness. It was pretty neat, tire tracks kind of glowed in the darkness. If I ever get some money, I will have to try and build one of those blue collar mtb lights.

Interviewed with Ebiz B2B connections for first of 3 interviews. It would be a real challenge, but seems interesting as hell. 2 other possibilities starting to swirl now, time is getting limited. SMS team apparantly finally got approval from Beck to go outside on Thursday, but not posted as of end of business friday and have heard nothing other than the grapevine gossip about it. Been there, done that, still no job so taking it with a grain of salt for the moment. Kathi put it right, I love roller coasters, but this is one I just want to be over. Something brewing in ops, weird hours, weird opportunity, need to think it over to see if I could get it to work out with Emme. Could work out really well for her, but the drunken bitch would never go for it I don't think, though she would get every friday to drink.

Steve Austin

2006-08-21T22:28:00.000-04:00

Great night for a Jacobsburg ride. Weather was perfect. Unfortunately, mechanicals were not! Seemed like I was off by one shift in the rear and it kept popping in and out of gears. It was annoying, but kept going, I was feeling great. Rode the front gears to avoid the back. Made the powerline hill without a problem, but mostly in 3rd so I was whooped. About 3 miles in downshifted the rear accidentally and threw the chain to the inside. Harumpf. Popped back on and forgot about the shifting again and threw to the inside again. This time, heard the deralieur hit the spokes. Shifted into 3rd and ran back to the truck. Phil Esempio was there, bleeding in the lot. Called SVB and they closed at 7. Phil offered to help. Hanger bracket was bent and adjustment was backed out. He was a whiz. Started spinning screwdrivers and bending away at the bracket and it was whipped back into shape in no time. Took it for a test spin and it shifted better than when it was new. Put in 5 miles, 9.4 average. Felt like I could have done 15. Should be in good shape for wednesday hopefully. Hmmm, donut derby a possibility? After 6 months of scrimping, splurged on biking shoes since these are falling apart. See how they do. Free donuts and a bikeride? Yum on all fronts

Go big

2006-08-16T22:08:00.000-04:00

Checked the trail camera tonight at the new stand. NO pictures. Put some camera helper in to see if that changes thing. Didn't kick anything out of the field on the way in. Wore the rubber boots in and that helped with the grass rash. Got out of there and headed to Jacobsburg. Backstraps in my gullet and excited for the ride. Backstraps were outstanding after sitting in the homemade rub for 1.5 days and 5 minutes per side on the grill on double hight.

GREAT ride tonight. Not a huge turnout, about 15 or so and people seemed to be showing up later than normal. Met a guy Todd who was talking about doing adventure/endurance races and stuff and wanted to go for an early warmup ride. Sounded like neat stuff. Orienteering on foor for 40 miles, riding and canoeing for 24 hrs. Sounds like exactly what I wanted to do when I rode my bike the last time. Warmup ride went about 3 miles, faster than I was used to but outstanding little ride. Did an endo that caught me by surprise when I threw a chain. Seemed to be in super slow-mo. Next think I knew I was on my ass in the weeds. Damn chain keeps going off the front rings. Maybe in need of an adjustment? Maybe it's just because i had the rear in a higher great. It's not second nature yet to throw it into a bigger front ring on downhills. I guess that will come.

Real ride kicked off as one big group. Lost the front runners after about 4 miles. Spent a lot of time in the big rings up front. What a difference. Speed seems to help out a ton on the rocks and just makes for a way better ride. Dropping front down makes it easier to transition out of downhill to uphill with way less shifting. I think the conditioning is coming into play at least partially, but there are so many little things with the bike that seem to make a huge difference.

Going over rougher terrain, the chain is making a ton of noise. I guess it is the slack wacking the frame. Maybe I need to look into one of those wraps.

It's starting to get darker earlier. Could have used a light at the end, but finished ok. Not great for riding, but starting to really get the juices flowing for deer season. Going to miss the biking, but there's several does calling my name.

Overall outstanding night. Weather was perfect, speed was up, distance was way better then the last 2 weeks and met some new people. Threw the chain off the front to the inside twice. Computer wasn't reset for most of the first warmup ride and read a hair over 12 on completion so guessing 13.5 total mileage with nearly 2 hours of pedaling.

Stands weekend

2006-08-14T20:40:00.000-04:00

Aug 11-13, Windy Hill Farm. God I needed that, it's so weird without Joe. Stayed at Melvins. Fished Beaver Lake on friday and did some scouting for a different stand location in the pipestems. I just love that bottom corner by the intersection. Give it 1 more year and hopefully some good time in the stand and see how it produces. Found 2 different sets of 3 bear beds. Pipestems are so freakin thick with briars and raspberries. They have to be walking the roads. Chicory and buckwheat look fantastic. Corn at the top by the triangle. Chickory didn't come up for crap in the woods. Went to the sports bar in hughesville, wings were outstanding.

Saturday put the pipestems intersection stand in. It was a breeze. Walked Carl's a bit and found a location for a stand right at the middle road. Nice location, not totally sold on it, but it will be new scenery. Havn't stood Carl's since Brett's stonefence stand 6 years ago and the stand at the end my first year. I needed a morning stand and this will work. Doesn't seem smart to keep screwing up that field in the morning. The inevitable stampede can't be good for things.

Put up a 20 footer for Jimbo 20 yds from my 2nd stand at the end by Paul. Great gun stand, lets see if anyone stands it. The criss crosss straps around the tree were a life saver. Jimmy A put in a stand about 100 yards downhill from Old Faithful. It's real low from the road, but if they come from the hemlocks, it's an outstanding stand.

Saw at least 2 bears back by the swamp. Mother was acting awful motherly and circled back on us. A tense few minutes with the 4 wheelers ready to rip, but no charge or anything. Really neet seeing those things.

Saturday I played monkey for Melvin and put in 2 stands. Rehashed the food plot where I fell out with a new 20 footer. Hairy as always, but got it. He closed the deal on 39 acres saturday from Rock Bottom. Gorgeous property, it's going to be thick as hell. Can't wait for the season. I need to start practicing more.

First of the Mohicans

2006-08-14T20:16:00.000-04:00

South Mountain park to end a very stressful day. The money grubbing embodiment of evil was at the house today to take even more stuff. Imagine if she put 1/2 the effort being a mother as she did into her other more favorite pasttimes. I will be so happy to have that bitch out of my life, though I guess that won't really happen for 14.5 years aaaaagh.

Anyhow, parked at south mountain park lot and shot up and out the powerline trail to birchwood. First venture across the street and on to Mohican. First part was a piece of cake, then started getting tougher, then tougher still. Walked some over the bigger rocks to avoid bottom end damage, and maybe some personal damage. Tough trail, but definately doable with some work. At the top found Superman. Being neither a man of steel, nor terribly interested in high speed travel disconnected from terra-firma, walked a bit and rode a bit until it started into the switchbacks and steeper dropoffs I knew would be there. Someday, but not today. Part of the trail was quite overgrown, I guess it's not that frequently used for a reason. Pretty much rode out Mohican with a couple hopoffs around the bigger rocks. Initial plan was to come back cemetary trail but saw the incline i would be coming back up and was just fine with Mohican.

Took Pete's Cheater Trail on the way out. Parts were really nice and dirt path, there was a bunch of logs and smaller rock piles. I guess average was easy, but definately didn't ride it clean. Stopped off at overlook park, really nice view but it was really hazy. Rode up the road and back on to Birchwood where i left off it and back to the lot.

Back to the lot tired, but not too much worse for the wear except in the confidence dept. Keep trying tougher places and skills will improve. 4.4 miles and 1 hour of pedal turning. Probably 1.5 of ride time.

Jacobsburg Social Group

2006-08-09T21:49:00.000-04:00

Nice ride tonight. Could have definately gone longer. Handled the small creek with no problems both ways. Amazing what water levels of 1/2 compared to after the storms will do. Rode half the powerline hill in 3rd, sucked wind a bit at the top, but made it without an issue. Did much better with the downhills, lost my chain on the one after the oyster road. Apparantly shifting to a higher gear means the front, not the back! 8 miles in total. 1 hr. Somehow a 7.4mph average, silly computers.

Got de-geeked by Liz and Dan afterwards. Apparantly reflectors are uncool :) Stripped and cool in no time flat.

Redemption

2006-08-02T21:36:00.000-04:00

Jacobsburg social ride tonight. Extra miles at the new and tougher places definately paid off. Liz said she saw the post about me going to Bear Creek at the dirt devils forum and shook her head. She knew what I was getting into much better than I.... Weather was really hot with realfeel around 100, but ride was pretty much a breeze. Cleared a lot of obstacles and downhills I had not previously. Finally cleaned the creek after about 10 previous attempts. Uphill on the powerline was a breeze. All in all the ride I needed.

8 miles, 1:10 mins

Barely Creaking

2006-07-31T21:08:00.000-04:00

Wow. Tried to think of a clever way to start this, wow is all I could come up with. Maybe I was a moron for considering a ski resort to bike around on a hot day like today. What the hell though, you only live once. I got everything I bargained for.

This place is tough. That's an understatement. I think it will be a fantastic place if ever my skills improve exponentially. I could almost classify this as a hike more than a bike. My legs are hammered and I am dehydrated so this will be short.

Got the advice to ride it clockwise from the kiosk. I honestly think I would have turned around if I did it counter clockwise. The ride was beautiful, trails were outstanding, plenty of my nemesis rocks, some defeated, some defeating. I though I was home free when I made it to the top of the chair lift. I was wrong. It was a different kind of terrain, fun, but pedal grinding downhills and rocks rocks rocks. I was definately at my limit most of the ride. Then the face smacking green signs started to appear. "Warning: Technical Area" Are you kidding me? Where wasn't this place technical? The ones that said "Warning: Downhill" weren't kidding, but managed some of them. That taunting sign will be in my thoughts for a while I think.

I have a creak that's getting worse. I think it is in the bearing that goes through the frame at the crank. Not sure what that is called, but it's getting worse. Almost like there is a rubber o-ring that is binding. I guess I need to get it checked. Ride time on the computer said 1:06, distance 4.0. Total time about 1.5 hrs. Probably two-stepped 15-20% of it. Stuck to the blue trail the entire ride.

Well, this is the end of the experiment. My princess comes home tomorrow and I can't wait to see her beautiful face. 6 previously unexplored rides in 6 days. Previous 4 months and I visited a grand total of Jacobsburg and the towpath plus a few rides to Lowes and Heights market on the road when I needed stuff I could fit in my backpack. My skills have grown exponentially in these 6 days. I have learned more about myself, my equipment, and skills than I ever could have hoped. Where do I stand now? I am a beginner mountain biker with a love of the sport. I havn't been on two wheels since I was 15.999 years old. I can take defeat like a man when I give it my all. I whoop like a rabid football booster when I take a section clean I could not have previously. I want more.

For now, tomorrow will be a welcome day off for the mind and body. I think I will spend some more time at Jacobsburg in the coming weeks regaining my confidence and lengthening my ride time. Dodson St, Tekkening, Constitution Rd and South Mountain Park will all be attempted again in the near future. Franko Park was too boring, Bear Creek is beyond my present skills. Maybe next year on a day with reasonable temperatures I will give it another try. These guys who race it must be a sight to see.

Constitutional Fortitude

2006-07-30T15:53:00.000-04:00

I know you are not suppsed to ride when it's wet because of trail damage etc, but with the weather the last few weeks, I wouldn't get any time in the woods if it was my mantra. So tread lightly has been the name of the game of late. I had tried to find the salisbury sand pit earlier in the week to no avail. Instead found Franko Park, which didn't seem to be bike friendly and the ride was on open grassy lanes and such which I didn't really care for. A quick post to the Dirt Devils forum gave a lead on something I may be more interested in. Constitution Rd. A quick mapquest search found what I was looking for. Snapped the coordinates into the GPS friday night and saturday mornings adventure became a plan.

After a nice long ride down a lumpy road that made me smile and pat my truck on the dash, I found a parking lot that looked promising. There was only an ultra compact car with no bike rack in the lot so it looked like I would have the place to myself. Prepped the bike, remembered the computer this time and off I went into the trail with the "Walking Purchase" sign. 75 yards in and I was walking my purchase back to the lot with the rough part of the Tekkening two-step experience from the previous day fresh in my head and legs. Unrounded, soaked, slippery rocks abounded. There had to be another option. The guys who had pulled in as I was getting saddled up got a smile and made a comment like "short ride today?". I made up some lame excuse about exploring and high tailed it out of there and out onto the gravel road with my tail held low. Up the road about 100 yards there was a red blazed trail off to the left that looked more my speed so in I went.

Much better. Trail started with a fine gravel bed that gave way to a loamy trail with a slight downhill slope. Dodged a couple puddles on the edges that I would have rather pounded through thanks to my tread lightly attitude. My good deed for the day now behind me, I started ripping down the trail, thoughts of slimy rocks well behind me.

A series of logs across the trail now appeared through my foggy glasses. These were much larger than the ones I typically encountered so off I hopped. Good thing I did as my large gear would have ground across. Same thing for the next two. I guess I need to learn how to bunny hop or something if this is going to be a frequent occurance. I have enough to learn for now so no shame in saving my equipment and two stepping across. Down a bit found a zig zag bridge that had a couple inches of water in it. Using my hands and pedals I managed my way across without incident. There is an opt out to go through the creek, but tread lighly and thoughts of wet shoes so early on in the ride made the man-made option a no-brainer.

Next section was rather uneventful but fun, until I reached the pipeline. I surely was not heading uphill so down I went. Loose rocks and light orange mud were fun for a bit, then it dove a bit steeper and I did my part for the environment and chose not to add my personal fluids to nature and walked it down the rest of the way. Back on the bike and hung a right along the railroad tracks to a flat and enjoyable section. Had to duck down onto the tracks at one point due to a blowdown but rest was pretty flat and the middle ring was put into play for the first time today. Trail goes all the way down to St Lukes. Towards the end there was a lot of glass and other garbage in the trail so walked around that rather than risk a cut tire.

Return back was as expected though pretty much uphill the entire way. Tire slipped a little for no reason, i wonder how these tires stack up against what the others use? Is a tire a tire? From what I have learned so far, I am thinking not, but not going to start blaming equipment other than my pedal fiasco.

Took a different route back to the lot that was parallel to the road. Lots of rocks, but I am a bit more confident now and navigated them pretty well. This "look where you want to go and not at where you don't" concept pays off in spades when you keep your mind focused.

Back to the lot and it was the walking purchase rematch, this time, hopefully mostly pedaling the purchase instead of walking it. Against my better judgement, engaged the granny gear (back story can be found in "South Mountain Park" article) and away I went. Much better this time, perhaps a little drier, but not much. Foot down a couple times, but progressed much further in before getting off. Bashed the pedals off a few larger rocks, these things take a beating. The old plastic ones would be in shards I think after this week. Passed by a couple large ones by back pedaling to keep the offending pedal up so spirits are high from my new-found technique. These rocks have to stop soon right? Gone is the loam I muddled through for the last hour, I began to yearn for those miles at this point. Legs burning from the high cadence, but forward progress is being earned, not given. Couple more pedal bashes, a little pushing and it is time for the return trip. The heat and humidity was getting to me and the computer was reading 5 miles for the adventure so this bail was not as disconcerting as the first one.

Ride back over the same rocks was jarring, but fun. Pedal work was fun keeping them out of harms way. Legs are getting a little sore and form is probably poor as I look down to watch my pedals more than I look ahead to pick line. WHAM. That's WHAM in capital letters. If I could make it blink, I would. As I was going past a particularly large rock the front tire avoided, at a significanly more speed then I had previously allowed, the back tire hit it square. The seat caught me. Simple physics here. Seat goes skyward, shorts follow newtons law, mass times velocity = pain. I yelped like dog who just got stepped on in the dark. If I had the ability, or the inclination, to look there, I am sure there would be a mark. Enough of this, trip over. Time for some advil. The jungle known as my back yard needs some serious attention from high speed rotary steel. It is not going to be pleasant in this heat and with these rubbery legs, but at least it is an activity that does not require me sitting down.

Ride time 1:10, distance 5.3 miles.

P.S.- Try lowering the seat, it's been in my way all day and the nose is wreaking havoc on my posterior.

South Mountain Park

2006-07-30T14:57:00.000-04:00

Ah, the great Lehigh Valley mountain biking mystery. The whereabouts of the Lehigh South Mountain mecca seems to be a closely held secret. Searches of the internet are rife with flames back and forth between people posting about it and others saying shhh. I don't think anyone will read this, so I think I am safe from the flogging that's sure to come my way. I'm actually not quite sure this is the place, but I did find some pretty gnarly stuff, so I assume I was on the right (single)track. In my defense if it was a renegade intrusion, there is no sign that says Lehigh students only or anything of the ilk.

This took little to no brainpower (thankfully). Do a zoomed out mapquest search of Bethlehem and look for green, that's what I did. I was looking for Constitution Rd actually and noticed the emerald green glow of South Mountain Park beckoning me from the south. If geese fly south in winter, why can't I in the opressive summer heat?

After a quick 3/4 " drop in my saddle from yesterday's fiasco (more in "Constitutional Fortitude") I was off and sweating. 45 seconds after the sweat started, it became profuse. Brainiac me started off on the right hand side of the parking lot and climbed the rockpile of a "path" that encompases the start of the disc golf course. For the third ride in a row, these rocks had their way with me. I am learning some things along the way however and that is what quests are all about.

I read in an article when I first started this obsession to stay out of the granny gear. I have no idea as to the context or author of the article, and have since lost it. I did learn this in practice when I found my first tryly enjoyable ride about a mile up river of sand island. This find was about the 3rd or 4th time I had mounted my then new and shiny black beauty. The location is right across a bridge of the canal. What lay ahead of me was technical track that seems to have been built for motorcycles. This place had everything and I have spent quite a few nights there since when the gas bikes were not about. Of particular consternation was a hill on the left hand side. I have had quite a few instances of my butt being forcefully evicted from my saddle in my short carreer, but this hill still holds the record in both frequency and severity of said event. The first few attempts found me starting too slow, or in a higher gear or it was wet or...well you get the point. I got only 10 feet or so and bailed on each attempt. Then I got the idea that my back tire was spinning and to put plant my butt squarely on the seat, put it in granny gear and pedal like hell. Yup it worked. With legs a spinnin I made it further than I had before, well, up until the front wheel came screaming past my face like a Randy Johnson fastball. I lay there like a fat turtle, sans steed, head pointed downhill, like a filty latenight inversion machine infomercial. What happened next was akin to the infamous "morning after" in college, with the famous last words of "I'll never do that again". Unlike college, I happened to make it more than a few hours before going back on my promise. I made it until yesterday as a matter of fact.

I'm not saying that the granny gear defeated the rock pile, but it did help, and I did a lot more on two wheels then 2 feet, which is a small victory. There is a saying "fish or cut bait". I was doing neither after a while and confidence was plummeting, so I got the hell off the trail and headed up to the water tower in hopes of finding new waters. Wow, good choice. Time to fish! The trails that lay ahead were outstanding. Singletrack, downhill, uphill, it had it all. Path choices for the first lap came up aces. Rode the brake too much again, but at least it was in the back of my head. This was really enjoyable. Path took me down the hill and the rest was along the road edge, which was hairy at times. Dead ended at the stop sign so backtracked a little and found a path up the hill to do it again. Saw a doe with two fawns so stopped for bonding time with my camelback and watched the deer feeding only 50 yards away, completely oblivious to me. The skinny fawns still had spots, though fading fast.

Back up the hill and begain what I THOUGHT was another of the same lap. Somehow I made a right and started heading downhill. I mean DOWNHILL! I kept going thinking "this has to level out soon". It didn't. "What goes down must go up" kept echoing in my head. Being tired and hot, I cut my losses and turned uphill to backtrack up the same trail. 100 yards up or so there was another trail off to the right. "What's down here?" he says. I'll tell you what was down there. Sickness, utter disregard for the body, stuff that causes Evil Knevil to wake up screaming. There is a wooden jump of some sorts there off the top of a rock. I wouldn't try it in a million years. I sat on the edge, had a drink and laughed in admiration of the madmen and women who built this contraption. I don't believe I would have ever tried it in my youth, and certainly not now. Not even with an ambulance standing by feet away and a stunt bag. I was hoping it was some of this "North Shore" stuff I had been reading about, but there seemed to be about 50 feet of it missing. I want to try a see-saw and some other things, but NEVER this launch into hell. Ah well, some day.

Back up the hill and did pretty well all things considerd. Granny gear was a life saver, this thing really comes in handy yet again! Found my trail, made some changes but essentially uneventful and a similar lap. Much more comfortable this time carrying more speed and less brake. I seem to tense up pretty good though on the downhills and quads and front of my thigh seem to burn a little as I stand on the pedals soaking up the bumps to prevent yesterdays malady.

Did about 5.5 miles in all with about an hour of actual riding according to the computer. Not sure how much time elapsed while I was out there, but like McArthur, I shall return.

P.S- Seat adjustment worked wonders. Keep it there. Rear tire pressure still too high. Do I keep lowering it until it blows?

Tekkening Two-step

2006-07-28T11:01:00.000-04:00

Tekkening. Look it up on Google and you find a fair bit of unreadable posts with odd looking characters from Scandanavian countries. To me, Scandnavia evokes thoughts of cross country skiing and reindeer with crisp, lung burning air. My first foray into the shadow's of Martin's creek radioactivity couldn't have been further from that imagery.

"Realfeel of 98" the weatherman crowed over the hum of my air conditioning. I slugged a bottle of water and a coke in my truck in a feeble attempt at pre-hydration. A bowl of stale lucky charms 4 hours before was not going to provide the energy required if this place was anything other than flat. I had no information on Tekkening Trails other than directions of where to park from the Dirt Devils site on clubMTB.com. There could be anything at the end of this asphalt road.

The previous evening had seen me pulling an all nighter at work to rebuild a server that decided to trash about 10,000 user files for fun as the hard-drives slowly ventured into the River Styx. What was I thinking heading out here in the noonday heat? I was thinking adventure, I was thinking ANYTHING other than keyboards and cranky users. That's the funny thing about this new mountain biking hobby I picked up this spring. The harder I crank on the pedals, the less negativity enters my head from my cranky users and my cranky ex. It's both a mentally and physically purging experience for me. Maybe that's why I don't mind waking up in the morning with a sore rear-end so often lately.

I'm here. It's a pretty non-descript parking lot, but there is a big board with a map, and little pamphlet maps of the trails. A quick once over the big board and a stuff of the pamphlet into my seat bag with my cell and truck key and away I went down the gravel road and into the woods with the weird name. I had decided that I wanted to be a little adventurous. The blue trail along the Foul Rift of the Delaware was labeled "scenic". Scenic is for old lady's and people with skinny tires. No sir, I would not take the scenic path. I have portly tires and a jet black bike. I'm Darth Vader with a camelback dammit, and I want woods and rocks and sticks and mud.

This is easy. It's like the towpath with hills and trees. I passed the blue glow of the porta-potty about 100 yards into the woods and leaned into overgrown single track with the orange markers. This place must not get ridden a whole heck of a lot as the weeds from the sides encroached onto my new spiked platform pedals and threatened to untie my shoelaces. In and out of fields and woods the orange trail wound. Pretty easy stuff. A lot of twists in the trails kept the conservative side of me off the bigger rings. A couple of 3-4 inch logs took the high-speed mini-wheelies with ease. I like this place already. It's pretty hot on the field edges, but the woods are cooler. It must have rained this morning because the rocks in the trail are wet, but they are smooth river stones, and not much of them.

"Damn, forgot to hook up the cycling computer" i mumbled as I hopped off at the start of the first decent hill. Technology trumps reason, it's an illness I guess. Stupidity apparantly trumps knowledge because now I am at the bottom of a wet hill spinning my tire and wandering into the vegetation as i try to climb from a standstill. Well, this sucks. Time to walk it up I guess. Funny how your mental state changes. Last year, I could have been hiking here like a true bi-ped. I didn't own a bike and would have been happy with the trudge. Now it just seems so lame, a failure of sorts. This sport gets into your soul somehow, pushing you do do un-natural (and stupid!) things and never give up. Such a let down when you do, maybe that's part of being a newbie. Finally I reach a section level enough to pick up some speed and hop back on to my trusty black steed.

I'm soaked with sweat at this point. The walmart 2% that my horseshoes, stars and green clovers marinated in this morning is feeling a little squirrely. That little green guy on the box looked so happy this morning, at this point I could choke him and his silly accent. Fortunately, i filled my camelback to the top with ice before I filled it so a nice long tug of ice water evened me out a bit. A little more downhill, a little up hill. Trying to keep off the the brakes on the downhill. Brakes are a security blanket I need to shed. At least I am learning to use the front one rather than generate smoke with the rear...

Things start getting rockier. The smooth and rounded river stones are starting to mix with some sharper edges now so a little weaving is in order and I am back to enjoying myself. I can duck off of orange to head over to the sissy blue trail, or keep going onto the red trail. Did ol' Darth eat lucky charms before battle? I guess not, he couldn't get the spoon into that helmet. Plus, milk breath with all that breathing would not a grand leader make.

Red it is.

Hamburger. That's what my shin feels like. I have no idea what I just hit, but my pedal caught on something hidden in the weeds. These new pedals Liz Allen suggested are sweet, and I slip off way less then the crappy plastic ones that came with it, but this is a side effect that will take some getting used to. No pain no gain, no guts no glory, ride fast and ground meat metaphors begin to apply.

This trail is getting more difficult by the yard. Gone are the smooth stones that my suspension soaked up so easily. These boogers are sharp, odd angled and frequent. I have to get off and push again. I think it is primarily a skill deficiency, but the heat, what's left of my shin, and my energy are draining from me pretty quickly. The next 3/4 mile or so provides more of the same pedal a little, two-step a little. This place is beautiful, but a little beyond my skills, at least in my present condition. I take solace in the fact that the granny blue trail lay just ahead of me. Smooth sailing back to the truck is just what the Dr ordered after the humiliation Ma Nature is just piling on at the momet.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a little blue sign, and rock piles, oh dear. OK, scenic at this part means 40 foot cliff 2 feet off the "trail" with a beautiful view of the river below. It also means pretty much no dirt and basketball sized rocks piled upon each other. I am reduced to riding granny gear for 30 feet, walking 60, convinced I am about to splatter bike parts in multiple directons at any moment. This is no Jacobsburg. It is certainly no towpath. I am feeling less like Darth Vader, and more like the Will Farrell character in that Taladega nights trailer.

I learned a lot the last 100 yards. I learned that pedaling over rocks in the wrong gear can send my heartrate up through the tree canopy. I learned that if I concentrate, and stare where I want to go rather than at the razor sharp nasties (Thanks Liz) I can actually navigate some things I would not have thought possible 10 minutes ago. I have also learned that obstacles at 45 degree angles to the trail can take my back tire and shoot it about a foot from where it started. I also learned that these bikes are pretty darn tough, even if it is a cheapo from Dick's.

The trail starts to open up, it's soft sand with only scattered smooth rocks here and there. I am back up to a respectable gear and getting some good wind through my helmet to help cool this sweating heap that seemed so invincible 45 minutes ago. The sights and sounds of the river have always been special for me, and now I am back to enjoying it and taking my eyes off the trail, if ever so briefly.

As I piled what remained of me into the truck (that should have had the windows cracked) I felt myself already wishing for more. This weekend I want to try Jordan and the Sand Pit at Salisbury, but I'll beat this place someday and will be back to practice the conquest in the very near future.

Note to stupid: Eat a real lunch next time and leave the lucky charms for the little princess!